An Open Letter To The Person Who Bullied Me

An Open Letter To The Person Who Bullied Me

I hope you try to do better, for your sake.

First, I’d like to thank you. I’d like to thank you for giving me a thicker skin and showing me that I deserve so much more from people. I’ve grown so much since I last encountered you. Specifically, I’ve become stronger, braver, and ultimately happier.

The scariest thing, looking back, is that I initially saw you as a friend. I let you into my life very quickly and before I knew it we were doing everything from Target runs to movie nights together. I’m shocked as to why I let you into my life so quickly. I think I was just scared. I came to college from a different state and was anxious and alone. I wanted to make those close connections and gain a support network right away.

But, boy was I wrong.

You were a controlling bully. You tried to control my actions, my words, and my emotions. You made me feel bad for doing the most trivial things. But most significantly, you made me both feel bad about and question who I am.

I’m not a mean-spirited person, at all. I’m generally happy and try to look on the bright side. I try to treat others with kindness and respect. Granted, I can be selfish at times, but I am not the type of person who would intentionally be rude to someone or embarrass someone. But, you made me out to be. You accused me of doing horrible things that would never in a million years cross my mind. You also convinced my friends that I was a bad person. You defaced my character and degraded my being.

You and my other “friends” verbally ganged up on me twice. You humiliated me. You made me out to be a monster, when you were the monster. You made me feel scared, unsafe and alone. You made me question my own character. You made me cry. You made me feel unsafe in what was supposed to be my home. You made me flee my dorm and take shelter in a friend’s dorm. You put me through hell. And for what?

Since I’ve ceased any contact with you, my life has been leaps and bounds better. I’ve found a home both in my film society Lambda Kappa Tau and my sorority Alpha Epsilon Phi. I’ve found people who would never make me out to be a monster, who treat me with respect and kindness, who value and appreciate me just the way I am. I am very lucky I was able to get out of an unfortunate situation and became a stronger, more independent person because of it.

Although you might go on with the rest of your life and never give me a second thought, you’ll always have to live with how you treated me. You’ll have to live with the fact that you drove another human being out of her home, that you alienated her from people she would have otherwise been friends with, that you made her question her own character.

If you ever read this, remember how poorly you treated me and try to do better. I’ve become so much more resilient. I’ve learned how to stand up for myself more and not tolerate a situation or relationship where I’m unhappy and feel unsafe. I hope you read this and realize the error of your ways and try to to do better, both for your sake and for the sake of others around you.

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.

High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...


Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.


The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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