An Open Letter To The Person Who Bullied Me

An Open Letter To The Person Who Bullied Me

I hope you try to do better, for your sake.
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First, I’d like to thank you. I’d like to thank you for giving me a thicker skin and showing me that I deserve so much more from people. I’ve grown so much since I last encountered you. Specifically, I’ve become stronger, braver, and ultimately happier.

The scariest thing, looking back, is that I initially saw you as a friend. I let you into my life very quickly and before I knew it we were doing everything from Target runs to movie nights together. I’m shocked as to why I let you into my life so quickly. I think I was just scared. I came to college from a different state and was anxious and alone. I wanted to make those close connections and gain a support network right away.

But, boy was I wrong.

You were a controlling bully. You tried to control my actions, my words, and my emotions. You made me feel bad for doing the most trivial things. But most significantly, you made me both feel bad about and question who I am.

I’m not a mean-spirited person, at all. I’m generally happy and try to look on the bright side. I try to treat others with kindness and respect. Granted, I can be selfish at times, but I am not the type of person who would intentionally be rude to someone or embarrass someone. But, you made me out to be. You accused me of doing horrible things that would never in a million years cross my mind. You also convinced my friends that I was a bad person. You defaced my character and degraded my being.

You and my other “friends” verbally ganged up on me twice. You humiliated me. You made me out to be a monster, when you were the monster. You made me feel scared, unsafe and alone. You made me question my own character. You made me cry. You made me feel unsafe in what was supposed to be my home. You made me flee my dorm and take shelter in a friend’s dorm. You put me through hell. And for what?

Since I’ve ceased any contact with you, my life has been leaps and bounds better. I’ve found a home both in my film society Lambda Kappa Tau and my sorority Alpha Epsilon Phi. I’ve found people who would never make me out to be a monster, who treat me with respect and kindness, who value and appreciate me just the way I am. I am very lucky I was able to get out of an unfortunate situation and became a stronger, more independent person because of it.

Although you might go on with the rest of your life and never give me a second thought, you’ll always have to live with how you treated me. You’ll have to live with the fact that you drove another human being out of her home, that you alienated her from people she would have otherwise been friends with, that you made her question her own character.

If you ever read this, remember how poorly you treated me and try to do better. I’ve become so much more resilient. I’ve learned how to stand up for myself more and not tolerate a situation or relationship where I’m unhappy and feel unsafe. I hope you read this and realize the error of your ways and try to to do better, both for your sake and for the sake of others around you.

Cover Image Credit: pixabay.com

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.

Aasayed
Aasayed
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Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!

Aasayed
Aasayed

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