Dear Future Corey,
Hi. I’m writing this letter to you from your 19-almost-20-year-old self. (Side note, I’m not sure what voice to use here. You, us, we? Bear with me.)
I’m in my sophomore year of college, and things are insanely busy. Between school and my job, our sorority and other important clubs on campus, I am going nonstop. Right now, the main thought I’ve been having on my mind is change. I’m fascinated by change. I find it frightening and exciting at the same time. I’m learning so much and growing as a person in leaps and bounds. The changes from just freshman to sophomore year is so drastic already, I wonder how different things will be next year, or when I graduate, or when I’m 30. Change is exciting, as I have the power to be anything I want to be, and I’m living on my own and creating my own path.
Change is also terrifying. My childhood is gone, and I’m supposed to be grown up now and I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know how to file taxes or get insurance! I’m expected to act like an adult all of the time when just a couple of years ago I had to ask permission to use the bathroom.
Things scare me when I realize how much time has passed since I’ve been on Earth. My childhood dog is too tired to go on walks anymore, my favorite teacher whom I had in the fifth grade is retiring and I watch my Pawpaw hesitate before walking up a flight of stairs. It’s the small things.
I am lucky though, because I have the support of an amazing group of friends. Some are brand new, some have been my friend for almost half a decade, and some are ones you never imagined you would be so close to. I wonder if the friends I have now will be the friends I have when I’m 30.
I wish this could be a two sided conversation. There’s a good chance that you’ll be married at 30. You might even have kids, which is so weird to think about. It must be so nice to have clarity on who you are as a person and what you want to do in life. I envy that. When I think about the last 10 years of my life, there are so many experiences that I’ve been through, good and bad, that have shaped me as a person. It’s funny to think that I have a whole new set of experiences ahead of me. It’s also a lovely thought that some of the best days of my life haven’t happened yet.
I’m rambling on much longer than I intended. We both know how scatter-brained we are, and I don’t see that aspect of my personality ever shifting. I hope you find this interesting, I hope your life is good and happy and healthy, but also exciting. I hope you never become mundane. I might be scared and scatterbrained at this point in my life, but I am so happy. It’s a depressing thought that college will be the best years of my life. I hope you are looking back on those years with a smile, not wishing you could live in them forever. Keep learning, eat lots of fruit, and smile.
Much love,
– 19-year-old Corey
