My senior year is winding down to a storm of AP tests and final projects and paying dues and ordering caps and gowns and writing speeches. I’ve begun to buy things for my dorm room and think about what it’s going to be like to be completely on my own in an alien city while I try to figure out how to do laundry without shrinking everything. I’m worrying about paying off loans and getting a credit card and competing with people my age who are absolute geniuses.
However, as I sit and think about my next steps as a student and a person, I know that you’ll still be a big part of my life. You’re my mom. You’ll probably be the person I call first when I meet a cute boy and the person I cry to when I fail a test and the person I will want to hug the second you drop me off on campus. You’ll also be the voice in my head reminding me to watch my drink at parties and to check for runs in my tights and to send my brother a text once in awhile. Even as I think about walking across the stage and holding my diploma, I know that the best part will be seeing you in the audience, probably crying and embarrassing me. And I’m excited for you to be there to help me move in and visit and show you the amazing new things I’m doing in college.
Honestly, I’ll probably need you more during my first semester than ever before, but I won’t admit to it. I’ll be an adult. I’ll be independent and mature and sophisticated—or at least I’ll try to be. I’ll probably change my personality a million times and I’m sorry if you can hardly recognize me in my crazy hipster phase or my pretentious classical music phase or my wild party-girl phase. Through it all, I know you’ll still be supporting me and reminding me to wear comfortable shoes if I’m walking, even if you’re hoping I’ll snap out of it soon.
In just a couple of short months, I’ll be off and everything will be different. People who are strangers to me now will become my best friends and the friends I have in high school who I promised to stay in contact with might disappear from my life completely. I guess none of that really matters. Because you’re my mom, and you’ll always be there for me.
