To my little sister,

Where has the time gone? I feel like just yesterday we were sitting in your little yellow room in our old house, watching Disney movies on VHS (god, remember those?) on that tiny TV. I feel like we were so recently sitting playing with our Barbies or Bratz dolls, for hours on end—I wish I could remember all of the scenarios we made up to act out with them. You didn’t even sleep in “your” room—you slept in mine, in that queen sized bed with me.

We argued all the time, and mom would yell if one of us hit the other. I always called you a baby and used the argument that, no, I wasn’t just three, but three and a half years older than you—so, of course, I was basically your superior. But at the end of the day, you were always my best friend, and I would’ve been so lost if I didn’t have you to grow up with.

Even though I’m really not that much older, and nowadays I don’t consider myself your superior anymore, I still feel like I can say that it’s been so interesting watching you grow up. You’ve gone through so many of the same things I went through: learning how to read in elementary school, making friends in middle school, having crushes, getting your first (and, spoiler alert, unfortunately not your last) taste of how mean and petty girls in high school can be.

And now, as I sit here in my college dorm listening to the rain outside, I can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic and sad about how much you’ve grown up. You’re still my little sister, of course, and you always will be. Now, though, what kills me is that I know I can’t protect you from everything anymore. You’re a real, independent person who is figuring so many things out for herself, and all I can do is offer my advice and insight. But ultimately, you make your own decisions, and even though I know you’re smart and will always be okay no matter what, part of me is gone now. Part of my role as a big sister has diminished.

Now, you won’t always believe everything I tell you. When we were little, I convinced you that the Disney princesses were all real—do you remember? We went to Disney World when you were about four years old and I was seven going on eight, and I told you that Cinderella really does live in the castle in Magic Kingdom—that there really is a mermaid named Ariel living under the sea. And you believed me. And seeing the wonder and pure excitement on your little smiling face made me so happy that I think I knew, even as a 7-year-old, that I never wanted you to grow up and be faced with anything negative that life has to offer.

But you are growing up, sissy. Still, despite how far you’ve already come. You’re becoming such a strong, beautiful, insightful woman, and even though our relationship has changed over the years, I absolutely love where we are now and wherever we’re going in the future. Now, I tell you everything—about friends, my love life, my fears, my goals. You’re with me in my highest moments to support me and you’re there in my lowest moments to help build me up again. You have advice of your own now, and a lot of the time I think you’re much wiser than I am. You see things for what they are, and even when it’s hard, I know you’ll always do what’s right.

So even though we don’t film videos on that old 1990’s camera anymore, or play with dolls, or listen to the Jonas Brothers religiously and dance around your room, or watch anything on VHS tapes—we still bond just like we used to. Now, we watch shows together, go out to eat, go shopping, and text pretty much all day long every day. Being away at school has been tough, because it’s the first time in both of our lives that we’re apart most days of the week and out of the year. But we’re getting through it because we get through everything together.

So as you continue growing up, never lose sight of who you are. It sounds cliché, but I really mean it. I’ll always be here for you and I know you’ll always be there for me, and that because of that alone we’ll always be okay. I love you so much, and I’m so proud of you—always.

Sincerely,

Your big sister