Dear Inner Self, Conscience, Spirit or anything else that you could be called,

I’m sorry that I’m not always who you want me to be and that I don’t always do what you want me to do. To be honest, I often wish, post action, that I did do what you were telling me to because my own decision wound me up in more trouble than I was to begin with. Sometimes I feel as if I have totally failed to be what, or who, you would like me to be. Maybe that is a way to make me be strong and a thing for myself, but I consider it a weakness. This letter is addressed to you like you’re a person because sometimes it seems as if my conscience (my thoughts and my feelings) and my physical being are two entirely different entities. Sometimes you tell me to be strong when I physically cannot be. Sometimes you tell me to stand up for myself, but I don’t because that would just bring more woe. To be honest, sometimes it seems as if you fail me too; like when I need a good comeback but you come up blank and I end up silent like a moron. It would appear that we might fail each other.

There are many times in life that I completely disregard anything that you tell me and I apologize for that. I tend to ignore my brain and act impulsively, often putting me in an even rougher spot than I was in already. These moments make me sincerely regret my actions afterward, normally in the form of being sick to my stomach. This isn’t to say that I should blindly accept anything that my subconscious, you, tell me to do, but more often than not, those actions are what would be appropriate in the situation. To be honest, that course of action would be to consider all possible options for actions before I say or do anything at all. I’m sorry that I don’t let you guide me to be the best person possible, as you are meant to do, rather than letting my relationships outside of myself define my decisions.

There comes a time in everyone’s lives that they realize that it isn’t their relationships with others that defines who they are, but rather, their relationship with their inner self. Some people realize that very early in life, so three cheers for them, but others take a little longer. I’m sorry to you because I’ve just recently realized that I need to put myself first instead of others. Included in that are times that I am unhappy due to other people or their actions, I am too afraid to stand up for myself or to speak my mind in order to safeguard my relationship with that person. Recently, I have made the decision that if that person is to be a real part of my life, then they will appreciate my opinion and take what I have to say to heart. You have been telling me to stop letting others walk all over me for so long, and it’s about time that I started to listen.

Subconscious, you are a part of me to make me who I am meant to be and to define who I am as a whole, but I don’t always listen. I think that that is one of my biggest mistakes in life. I either act too impulsively or against anything that my inner self tells me to do and it normally does me very little good. I’m sorry that you are there to tell me when to be strong or to make smart decisions, and if I listened to you more, then I would be in a much better place, after all, you know my innermost thoughts and feelings best.