Love is a universal theme, yet is unique for each person. Each relationship is different, yet each person experiences the same enchanting, head over heels, dreamlike emotion for their partner. Love is unique for people love differently, and love people for various reasons. Love brings us together, but love also tears us apart.
This week I read an article that discussed how humans fall in love three times, and each for a specific reason: http://theusualroutine.com/2016/11/28/fall-love-3-people-lifetime-one-specific-reason/
The writer stated that the first love is when we are young and it is idealistic. We may have to swallow our beliefs to make sure we fit the puzzle, or fake a smile to show we are happy.
“Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important that how we actually feel. It’s a love that looks right.”
So, my first love – thank you.
Thank you for introducing me to love. To show me how to not be afraid of overwhelming feelings and being vulnerable. You showed me how I could make myself happy through making others smile. You showed me success was not meant to be an independent venture, but I need a support system to get me to my goals. You were there to cheer me on every step of the way.
Your family turned into my family. My family loved you, your family loved me. We had our lives planned out. This was true love; it was supposed to be my only love.
However, I quickly realized I was not making decisions for myself. I was making decisions to make you and others around me happy. I was making choices that would make our relationship better, but I knew I was only hurting myself.
I wanted to change everything for this. I wanted to do everything with you, for you. Before I knew it, I gradually stopped doing things for myself.
As I began realizing this – I shut you out. I regret that so much, because you never deserved a single second of the pain I imposed on you. You were, and still are, a beautiful human. We had a beautiful relationship, but it was a love that looked right.
I promise you – I loved you. I had the time of my life with you, and you are still in my favorite memories. I regret hurting you with my whole heart, but this love was more about how it looked versus how I felt.
Thank you for loving me, and showing me how happy I can be. Thank you for showing me that I have to make my own choices. Thank you for being my idealistic love.
