As I sat in the stadium on the last day of high school, I was surrounded by people in tears, saying goodbye to their friends from a chapter in their life. When I ended high school, I had no tears. I knew I would truly miss seeing a friend’s familiar face every day, however, I wasn’t heartbroken at the thought of never having to set foot in highschool again, or perhaps, it was never having to see the people ever again.
I never thought of myself as someone who missed people easily. In fact, I used to be pretty emotionless. There were a select few friends I would take the time to talk to, think about, and miss. But I surprised myself. The night before I left the dorms for good, a place I called home for my first year away from home, I went to my friend’s almost packed room and just started to cry. On average, I cry probably twice a year. Usually for stupid reasons like driving to the wrong destination six times in a row because I’m very directionally impaired. But in the middle of my tears, I realized I was actually going to miss seeing the people I used to see every day.
I guess my first year of college was my biggest transformation; but of course, that’s what many people say. But it’s different for everyone. I have encountered the most ratchet, as well as the more exquisite, people I have ever met in Bellingham. I fell in love with a weird art form; LED lights dancing at the tip of gloves. I learned that in college, regardless of your age, you aren’t always going to be the greatest at being an adult. Some days you’ll panic because you don’t know what to major in, which can seem like the end of the world. Or sometimes you’ll break down because you don’t think you’re ready to grow up.
But the biggest lesson I have learned is that life isn’t going to wait for you to be ready. Sometimes, you’ll feel like a certain decision is the most perfect decision ever, while other days, you will be forced to do something against your own will. But don’t fret, we’re not alone. Not everything is voluntary and ideal, but it’s reality. This is how we grow as individuals: we deal with changes we’re not ready for. Whether it’s choosing a major, letting go of certain people in your life, or just learning how to be an adult, we cope with it.
So thank you to the people who have been with me on my journey so far. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone in the thoughts that haunt me. For staying up late with me for reasons we’ll regret in the morning, but not in the long run. For keeping me grounded, when all I wanted to do was fade away from the responsibilities of the world.
Oh, and a special thank you to my two best friends who changed my life in my first year of living in a house. They’ve helped me with my anxious life thoughts at random times of the day and cleaning up broken glass from objects catapulted into my window by random drunks. We make bad decisions while still watching out for each other; most importantly they bring out the best in me. My funniest side, my smartest side, and my most sensitive side.
Again, a huge thank you to everyone I have met in these past two years. It has been a constant roller coaster of peaking highs and extreme lows, but with the people I have by my side, I guess I can say growing up isn’t all that bad.
