When there's no one else, look inside yourself;
Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within;
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way;
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within, oh…
If you know this song just by the lyrics, that’s great! If you don’t, that is OK, too; These are the lyrics to Christina Aguilera’s “The Voice Within.” When I was a child, I just thought it was a pretty ballad. Now, as I grow into a young woman, I realized that these lyrics have so much meaning, especially for someone like me. You see, I was always afraid to stand up for myself or speak up and voice my opinions in situations that I should have spoken up. I will admit that I have always been that way.
I was the girl who…rarely spoke in class. I was the girl who was too sensitive and couldn’t take a joke. I was the girl who wanted everybody to like her. I was the girl who didn’t say anything or do anything when my classmates teased me in elementary school. I will admit that I was the girl who just wanted to be left alone with her books and not have any confrontations or conflicts with anyone.
I was just afraid to speak up for myself.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think that my opinion mattered enough to say anything. I didn’t know “how” to say or express my feelings. I was too afraid of what other people’s reactions were going to be.
I have heard it said that the greatest prison we live in is the fear of what other people think. That is prison that I am still fighting to break free of.
One day, while listening to Christina Aguilera on my phone, I heard these lyrics:
Young girl, don't hide;
You'll never change if you just run away;
Ooh, whoa yeah;
Young girl, just hold tight;
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day, ooh…
I realized that Christina Aguilera was right. I will never change if I just decide to run away and hide in my shell, even though I do it like it’s a default setting. I know that I’m not the only one (I wasn’t trying to do a Sam Smith pun!).
So, to the girl who is too afraid to speak up for herself, you are not alone. Finding your voice and standing up for yourself is hard to do. It won’t happen overnight and it is a long process. I know you are afraid to say the “wrong” thing. I know you are afraid that people won’t like your opinion. Even if you don’t say anything and remain neutral, forgive yourself for that. There is no need to tear yourself down over it. Break free from the prison of other people’s opinions. Some may ask you to explain your decision or lack thereof. Please know that you do not owe anyone an explanation.
Your voice and your opinion matters. What you think and how to think matters. You and what you have to say definitely matters. I am still learning to believe this myself. Don’t worry, young girl. You will find your voice.
