I’m at that time in my life where it seems as though everyone around me is either pregnant, getting married, or both. Obviously everyone goes through this period in their lives, but I never would have imagined that I would be NINETEEN when I would begin to receive “Save the Date!” cards and invitations to baby showers. I graduated high school less than a year ago and I know that I am nowhere near ready physically and especially mentally to be starting a family, so it baffles me how people my age are ready to give up so much for something that can be had at any point in their lives. I know that everyone has different goals and dreams, but how can you achieve those goals and accomplish those dreams and become successful while you’re dragging a whining kid around or dealing with a complaining spouse?
I am a very independent woman and that was rooted in me from a young age. Growing up with such a powerful mother molded the way that I view my future: don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from achieving your dreams. This mentality sparked a drive in me that will not be extinguished until I have reached the pinnacle of success in wherever life takes me. All I know is that I WILL be somebody and I WILL make a difference in the world and no one is going to slow that down for me; not even an adorable kid or an attractive man.
There’s so much that I need to do before I even contemplate settling down. I need to go explore the world and become more cultured. I need to earn the highest degree that I can and become as knowledgeable as possible. I need to find myself and discover who I truly am. If I don’t know my purpose or understand what I’m meant to do with my life, then how can I ever expect to be responsible for someone else’s?
I don’t plan on getting married until I’m at least twenty-five and I don’t plan on having kids until I’m thirty. I know, I know, I’m going to fall into the “old mom” stigma… but I don’t give a damn. I’m going to have my career, finances and personal life established before I bring a kid into the mix. The average wedding costs $26,645 and one child costs on average $233,000 per year. My college tuition is cheaper than the cost of what having a wedding would be and I could travel to countless countries with the amount of money it would cost to have a baby. I don’t understand how anyone could look at those numbers and not want to wait to settle down, let alone settle down at all.
To my friends who are ready to settle down: this article isn’t a blow to you and I respect your decision to start a family early. I understand that everyone is different and we all have different morals and values. Do I think you’re just a little bit crazy? Yes. There is no way in hell that I could put my dreams on hold for someone else. I made a promise to myself that nothing will hold me back from being as successful as possible, and if that means that waiting 10+ years to have a kid and being labeled an “old mom” in the future, then bring it on.
