I wanted to begin this letter by thanking you for all of your patience throughout the years. I'm not easy to handle, but you do well, and I'm extremely grateful that you didn't just leave me at the bar all of those times I said I was running to the bathroom quickly before we left, or the times I said I'd be there in 5 minutes and showed up literally an hour later.
Yes, I am well aware that you guys tell me our plans are starting an hour before they actually do, just so that I'm on time. You're extremely smart for doing this, and I'm not mad at you for lying to me. I'm actually proud to have friends that are so intelligent and forward thinking. I'd like to think I had a part in the development of these skills you now have.
When I am on time, you guys always reward me with a word of praise. It generally feels as if I have just won the World Series, received an Oscar, or been nominated for the Noble Peace Prize or something. It's a big deal, okay? And you always let me know how proud you are of me.
I'm the "dilly-dally"er. I get distracted easily. When we go shopping for a new pair of jeans, I always somehow end up in the dress section. When I'm doing my makeup before a night out, I spend more time talking, dancing, and singing (and really anything other than what I'm supposed to be doing), than I spend actually doing my makeup. It doesn't matter how many back up outfits I brought for that night, I will always change my mind ten minutes before we're about to leave.
We generally schedule at least 30 minutes into every activity we do for every hiccup that could (and probably will) go wrong. I might forget my ID, lose my keys, or leave my phone in the bathroom. I get talking with a stranger, holding everyone else up. I get distracted easily, and generally forget what I was supposed to be doing.
I'm notoriously the last one in the Uber. I either need one more drink, one more trip to the ladies room, or one more coat of lipstick. I know if we ever hung out with people who don't know me as well as you do, they would think I am so rude. Thankfully, you all know me well enough to know I'm just a hot mess who can't keep track of time.
It takes a lot of patience to deal with someone like me. Although I might take the phrase "stop and smell the roses" a little too seriously in life, I make planning difficult, and being on time impossible, thanks for loving me anyways.
The Friend Who's Always Late