We’ve all been there, sitting at orientation hoping for a break from financial aid data, course registry, and counseling on choosing a major. It is so much all at once – fear, excitement, and more often than not, exhaustion. Basically, there are dozens of upperclassmen, school officials, and professors telling you to choose a path you will probably walk for the rest of your life. In addition to this life altering decision, they also try to persuade you to sleep 8 hours a night, join 10 organizations, and attend every sporting event ever in nothing but maroon and gold. You are 18 years old and begin to feel like you need a 30 year plan and a scientific discovery that lets you stay awake for 4 months at a time…
As a graduating senior, I’m here to tell you to breathe, and to give you the most worthwhile advice I can.
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1. First Days
Most of us felt an immense amount of pressure stepping onto campus the first day of classes wondering how it all works, and if all of the fears high school teachers instilled in us were worthy. The way they made it out, if you weren’t in a desk 15 minutes early, notebook in hand, you would be locked out and ostracized by your professor for the duration of the term.
Don’t believe the hype.
No one is trying to make your life (or day) any harder than it has to be. Professors who teach intro level (a.k.a freshmen) classes know that it is confusing trying to figure it all out. Believe it or not, they will even answer your questions if you ask!
A lot of this fear can be solved by 20 minutes of preparation the day before. Write down your schedule complete with class name, professor’s name, and location. Make sure you know how to find the campus map (it’s usually on your school’s app). Proceed to the route. That’s it. You did it! You made it to your first college class ever, and with a bit of grace, I might add.
2. Don’t Panic
It took me about a year to figure this one out. I’m hoping to save you some time and your blood pressure by telling you it solves nothing. Feeling overwhelmed will happen more times than you can count, but you don’t get to lose your marbles.
Make a list. Prioritize. Ask questions. It is nothing but a disservice to yourself if you let it get the best of you. Avoid this by not biting off more than you can chew – it’s not a competition.
3. Take Personal Time
Don’t ever forget that above everything else, you are person, and people need time for themselves. School is not having something to do every moment of the day. Watch 3 hours of Netflix when the day is over. Have lunch with friends. Go for a run. Go to the lake. Laugh. Read. Nap. For the love of God, please, nap.
Try not to lose yourself in everything, because at the end of the day it’s just a grade, just another class. Your mental well-being is worth more than that. Personal time is not an excuse to let everything go, but merely a reminder that you are not a robot.
4. Try New Things
College is a beautiful time to experiment and to find out what you enjoy. Many students get a fresh start when they begin college, and it should be taken advantage of! There are literally hundreds of things on campus to be a part of and to support.
Rush a sorority/fraternity if you think that may be your thing. Learn a foreign language (they have classes for that). Run a marathon. Learn an instrument. Take up fitness. Introduce yourself to strangers. Take a class you’ve never heard of.
You don’t have to stick with everything, but you will never know unless you try. And, I guarantee you; the regret of something not working out is far less than the regret of never going for something. This is how informed decisions are made!
5. There Will Be Bad Days…
There will inevitably be days where literally everything has gotten screwed up and you walk around with a cloud of bad luck over your head. You’ll oversleep, lose your midterm paper in cyberspace, get rained on, spill your coffee, and if you’re really getting it, overdraft your bank account. Your problems are valid.
But you know something else?
You’ve made it through every other bad day in your life, and you’ll make it through this one.
Throw yourself a pity party and invite the whole dorm - you’re allowed that. But then you have to suck it up. Sitting in the middle of the storm never made the sun come out, so you have to keep going. It gets better.
6. Little Fish, Big Pond
This is a hard truth. Remember #2, Don’t Panic, when I say this… You are no longer the best at everything. You’re in a bigger place full of talent and motivation – this can be your greatest asset or your weakest link.
We call him the gunner – the kid who still brags about his ACT score when it is absolutely irrelevant. This is the guy who doesn’t realize he is a minnow. Don’t be that guy (or girl).
Instead, learn from other people. Arrogance has no place when it prevents you from learning and growing, both personally and academically.
This isn’t to skew your self worth – it is to remind you to be humble.
7. It’s Okay to Hate the World A Little Bit
No one expects you to be an optimist at this stage in your life. You have a million things to do, you’re broke, and you question your own existence on a daily basis. You probably work and go to school. You’re probably trying your best. Sometimes, that’s probably not enough, and you get to be angry for that. When someone says this is the best time of your life, you get to scowl, because hell, you can’t even remember the last time you had time to wash your hair.
But like with bad days, it gets better. Just remember your frustration is real and valid, and so many other people have been there too.
8. Find a Balance
It is all too easy to sign up for 18 hours worth of classes, 7 organizations, and take on more hours of work when you’re feeling the excitement of your first semester in college. Believe me though; the enthusiasm dies a tragic death around midterms when you have to take a second to recall your own name because you are that exhausted.
You don’t have to do it all, and you shouldn’t.
If taking extra classes above what is needed hurts your GPA, don’t do it. If you’re in clubs that bore you to tears for the sake of putting it on a resume, don’t join. It is so much more satisfying to master a bit at a time and to be involved in things that interest you and are relevant to your own passions.
9. You Are Not the Same as Everyone You Know
You will meet people with a list of accomplishments so long you feel like it needs its own index. You will meet those who have figured out the adult part of life, and are ready to start a career and a family as soon as possible. You will meet people so successful you wonder how they sleep.
Please remember, you don’t have to compete with this. You are your own person.
This is one of the hardest things to realize, I think. People my age are doing so much with their life, and I still have nacho cheese doritos under my fingernails from lunch. I also think I forgot to feed the cat…
Sometimes I feel inadequate.
But I’m not, and neither are you.
You will feel this at some point in your college career, but it is only fear and doubt. You are your own person and you get to decide what is right for you. Don’t jump on bandwagons just to feel like you’re keeping up, especially if it doesn’t make you happy. It’s not a race. Your decisions are different, and, ultimately, you get to decide where you go. Don’t give into the pressure to be what everyone expects you to be.
10. Be a Part of the Community
No matter what field you are in or what areas of campus life interest you the most, make an effort to be a part of the community. This can only help you out. Networking is a real thing and it can get it some very valuable benefits. You want to get to know professors who will one day be writing you recommendations. You want to know that kid in your psych class who take awesome notes, so he/she can help you out when you’re dying of flu in your dorm room. Everyone wants a place to fit in, and it is absolutely the easiest part of college.
It takes nothing to say hello to someone and spark a friendship, or to put your name down for a meeting with other grad/med/law school hopefuls.
You want to know the people in your major, because you are probably stuck with them, for better or for worse, for the last 2 years of college. You will graduate with them.
It is extremely gratifying to know you are a part of something bigger than your individual goals and ideas.
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College is wonderful, terrifying, and a great time. You only get four years, and by that last advising session, you begin to wonder where the time went. You will live, and you will learn.
I can only hope you will be satisfied with the way you chose to spend that short amount of time.
