I never was a deb... this is about as classy as I get (it's grape juice, mom. I swear)
There are many of you out there who probably have no idea what a deb is. So let me clarify. According to Oxford Dictionaries, a debutante is an upper-class young woman making her first appearance in fashionable society. In other words, wealthy families in the south send their daughters to a huge celebration to address them as members of the higher society. And for one night, these daughters dress in elegant ball gowns and have to opportunity to meet with very important people of their certain town.
I was offered the opportunity, as was every woman in my family, to embrace this celebration. For some reason, I could never bring myself to do it. In fact, for years I had a huge aversion to the whole ordeal. Don't get me wrong. The celebration and the effort that goes into it is absolutely breathtaking. But I could never seem to accept an invitation to a celebration that blatantly separated me from what most of America embraces--the lower to upper-middle-class economic group. Had it not been for my family ties, my family connections, debutante would have never been an option.
It wasn't even an option for the majority of the friends I went to high school with, and I never fully understood that.
But there's something about this High Society dinner that still seems to bother me to this day. Every interview I've read seems to mention somewhere that Debutante makes women of these families "feel special"...I can only seem to put it in this perspective:
Imagine a society where every single woman of a family had the chance to "come into society". A congregation where every single woman--black, white, straight, gay, rich, poor-- could enter into a society with open arms and cheering crowds. Forget the tens of thousands of dollars spent on presentation dresses, forget the proper place-settings for table flatware. What if we let go of old tradition and embraced a society where differences were celebrated rather than equal financial class.
Every woman deserves to "feel special". Every woman deserves a chance to shine--maybe not in front of 250 people at a super classy ball... But every woman every member of this society deserves to see a place and purpose that they serve.
This southern tradition, while beautiful, raises many questions for me. I want to congratulate every single woman who just became members of society within the past week. I cannot explain to you how proud of you I am. But I also want to challenge you to use this as a reason to love and to grow more. Use this as a reason to continue to lead and be strong. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are capable. We all are. So take society and embrace every corner and part of it with God's grace and understanding.
Much love,
W
