For The Art Majors
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For The Art Majors

Oh don't worry, you'll eventually figure out what you want to do

21
For The Art Majors
NBC SNL

I'm going to a college that's predominantly business, I went to a high school where I only associated with kids looking to go into the medical field (I wouldn't recommend it, they think they're Gods even though their lives are pretty much emptying bedpans and stealing old people's wallets to pay for their overpriced education) I digress, the medical field is actually quite noble. I'm just bitter. My senior year of high school I had an epiphany and decided that comedy was my true calling, I wrote one song about a sandwich I ate in the seventh grade and declared myself the next Adam Sandler (Pre Jack and Jill...freaking embarrassment) my parents recovered from their embolisms and hematomas and decided to help me out, my "friends" made fun of me, talking about me and posting videos on Snapchat about me, basically, I'm very lucky I have the family I have. Even though they wouldn't move when I asked them, they said it made no sense cause there was one semester of school left, which I guess makes them jerks. Anyway, I got support from teachers too, my bio teacher and my English teacher were super cool, even though I can't remember their names.

Moving away from the question of legalities and actually using their names (which I promised to do when I won an Oscar, I didn't know Awards shows were rigged at the time) Let's get to the real reason I wrote this article...to tell you how important it is that in November you all go and vote Trump.

He's the only one that can truly make America great again and take it back from the immigrants stealing our jobs and our women.

I'm joking. Like 100%. My parents are immigrants, and Jewish, we're cool here.

Seriously I wrote this article for artists, any type, painters, poets, tattoo artists that only tattoo pictures of cats with lasers for eyes. When you tell people you aren't going the conventional course they laugh in your face, they tell you how little money you're going to make, as if the only reason you go into a career is so you can make money. It's just more taxes and messy in the end, who needs it? It's actually heartbreaking walking past an office and seeing robots- I mean people hunched over their desks in tiny little cubicles slowly dying of boredom. What's the point of a mundane life? Really art majors, we've got the right idea, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And if you're not an art major and reading this article, this isn't for you, stay in your major it's super competitive in this field.

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