To the First Boy I Fell in Love with,

As much as I want to hate you with every part of me, I don’t believe I am able to. When you walked out of my life without an explanation it drained so much from me mentally and emotionally. I had never before felt so broken, as if so much of who I was had simply gotten up and walked away. I didn’t know who I was or what to do with myself. I was so confused when you told me you wanted to break up. We were the ones who were supposed to stay together. Everyone saw us as the perfect couple. You were my better half, my best friend, my person.

I loved you more than I loved myself. I felt like I was a better person around you. Just by seeing you face, you didn’t have to say anything, my heart would automatically skip a beat. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you and all the memories we had created.

Although all of what I have just said is true, I hate to say this, but I am so much better without you. Every day I fall more and more in love with myself and less in love with you. We both made mistakes and hurt each other. We were both at fault, not just you as it may appear. But you ripped my heart into two. You broke me down and made me feel like nothing. Despite all of this, looking back on our relationship I feel as if I never thanked you enough for all the good things you did for me.

Thank you for being the first boy who made it feel like I flying when we kissed. Thank you for teaching me how to love. How to care about and have so many feelings for someone besides my family and friends. You showed me that my ability to love is something so amazing and special. The type of love that should be given only to someone who feels the same way about me.

Thank you for always buying me food. No matter how many times I tried to pay, you never let me. Thank you for being my motivation to get up and go to the gym every morning. I was in such good shape for a majority of our relationship because of the daily workout plans you gave me.

Thank you to your family and everything they did for me. I always felt at home when I walked into your house. I cared for your brother the way I cared about my siblings. I’m honored I was always invited to your family parties and enjoyed meeting your extended family.

Thank you for taking me to senior prom. One of my biggest fears all throughout high school was that I was not going to have a date. We looked so good together that night. I was honored to be your date that night because to me you were the most handsome guy there. Along with that thank you for the outstanding "promposal." It takes someone who knows me so well, to be able to pull something like that off.

Thank you for the positive memories we made together. I will never forget those and they will stay in my heart forever. I loved the little day trips with you to the beach or a local amusement park. We could have gone anywhere but as long as I was with you I would have been happy.

Thank you for giving a relationship with me a shot even though you didn’t necessarily want one . You were hurt before and didn’t want to be hurt again. I told you that you could trust me and I am beyond sorry I let you down. Don’t give up on love because of me, you’ll find someone one day who will give you the world.

As weird as this may sound, thank you for cheating on me. It broke me down into nothing. For some reason I believed you when you said that I was the only girl you looked at, while I watched you flirt with other girls right in front of me. By doing this you gave me the lowest point I had ever experienced in my life. Since I hit rock bottom, I couldn’t go anywhere but up from there. You have hopefully saved me from being cheated on in the future by showing me the behavioral signs to watch for.

Everyone has said to me that you would have never intentionally hurt me. The boy I used to know would have never intentionally hurt me, but I don’t know who you are now. I hope this new you is working out well for you.

Last but not least, thank you for breaking up with me. You knew it was something I could never do myself, I loved you too much. You knew I deserved better and our relationship wasn’t fair to me. It was something I couldn’t see because I was unfortunately too blinded by love.

If I could take back everything I would. I would take back my decision to stay with you in college. I knew deep down inside of me you wouldn’t be able to do it, but I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. There was something missing as soon as we got to college. It was that I continuously loved you more while you loved me less everyday. You turned into someone I didn’t know. You weren’t the boy that I met when we first started dating. That was the boy I fell in love with and I still love today. You would have never had hurt me back then. Back then you loved me just as much, if not more than I loved you.

I was lost for almost two months without you. But just as you changed, I myself have changed too. I finally love myself again. I’m no longer in a toxic relationship. You helped me grow so much while we were together and I hope I did the same for you. I forgave you the moment after you cheated on me, I hope you can forgive me for everything I did wrong. As much as I want to I don’t regret our relationship and I will never regret you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.

From,

Your Ex-Girlfriend