Dear Extroverts,
Listen, I know you mean well, but what you need to know is that we introverts are just wired differently. Staying out until midnight every day and being constantly surrounded by people just isn't how we prefer to spend our week. Don't get me wrong, these things are fine in moderation. However, for me, as for many introverts, this level of social interaction can often be physically exhausting.
You see, everyone gets social energy in different ways. For some, being around others is what gives them the strength to get through their week. However, there are those of us who need silence and alone time in order to recharge. This isn't to say that we never enjoy being around people. It just means, generally speaking, that we can easily find comfort in being alone.
Don't take this personally. I understand how difficult it can be to acclimate to a personality or lifestyle that is different from your own. You may not be used to hanging out with introverts, and that's totally fine. I just need you to know that everyone has a different level of social comfort, and by assuming someone is at the same level as you can be exhausting for the other person. You could be wearing them out without even knowing it.
That's why I'm asking you this: please just try to read between the lines. If your friend keeps telling you that they're tired or that they want to go home, don't try to push them to stay. We might not always explicitly say that we need to be alone for a while, but usually it can be inferred.
I'll be the first one to admit that I don't always tell this to people flat out. I'm often afraid of offending anyone by saying that I just don't have the energy to stay out any longer. However, every once in a while I'll find that one person who will say, "Yeah, it's getting late," or, "Feel free to go, if you want to."
Be that person. Be the person who makes social interaction seem fun, like it's supposed to be, and not like a chore.
Also, don't force someone to go out if they don't want to. Try asking your friend what they actually want to do before just assuming that they'll want to be surrounded by a crowd of people all weekend, and don't be alarmed if your ideas of "fun" don't match up. Trying to find common ground is an important part of any friendship.
Finally, I'd like to end this letter with a message of thanks. Although we may not enjoy spending too much time with others, it's nice to know that if we want to, there will be people like you to bring out the best in us. Thank you for not giving up on us just because of differences in socialization. Your kindness and support mean more than you know.
Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Introvert
