Dear back-to-school advertisements,
If I could sing my feelings to you, I would use either NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye" or JoJo's "Get Out (Leave)." It is July, JULY. We still have two precious months of summer left. I'm still buying summer clothes as we speak, so I'll pass on all the denim jeans you keep throwing in my face.
It's people like you that give me anxiety. We just got out of a stressful academic year, and we have been rewarded with the three sweet, sun-filled months we call summer. We are in desperate need of some serious R&R. So if you would let us have that without being immediately reminded of the fate that awaits us in the fall, that would be great.
Let's also talk about the content of your ads while we're at it (TV commercials, I'm looking at you). How do you consistently pick the absolute worst songs for your commercial? I can be in a completely different part of the house and hear that stupid song or jingle whenever it comes on, which by the way, is ALL. THE. TIME. Stop scheduling your ad to run twice on every commercial break. I watch one hour of TV and hear your announcement, and it's annoying music, at least 12 times.
I'm glad that you're prepared, and I'll definitely be using this information...when it's actually time for classes to start again. So to wrap up: stop invading my summer with school stuff, stop using music and jingles that make everyone within earshot want to roundhouse kick the television, and stop trying to brainwash us by playing your ad over and over again -- it's not working.
Just calm it down, or you can get out (leave) right now!
Sincerely,
An Angered Summer Citizen
