Dear The Dad That Left Me,

I want you to know that you missed the best things you ever had. My brother and I are amazing. It took five years… FIVE YEARS for me to finally realize this. It is not our fault that you realized too late what you had. I used to look up to you so highly. Every crude remark my mom, grandparents, step dad, and friends ever said about you, I ignored. I stood up for you. I defended you. I wanted so much to show them wrong, to prove myself correct. I failed. But, I did not lose. No, I won because I realize now that I do not need you. I have done everything without your help. I have grown up without you, and I do not wish to change that now. The most vivid memory I have of you is depressing. It was your weekend to see my brother and I. My mom brought us to your house (actually it belonged to your girlfriend at the time) and you were going on a boat with your friends and girlfriend. I asked to go with you, and you told me, flat out, no. I was crushed. Looking back now, I should have never tried after that because there was ALWAYS something that was more important than me. Your girlfriend, your job, your drugs, your money, yourself, your car, everything was worth more to you than my brother and I ever were. The only time you began to even think about caring was when you were lonely. When I told you I was done with everything you put us through, you put in more effort for six months than you had in seven years at the time.

Growing up without a father was quite possibly one of the hardest things I've ever been through. All the daddy daughter days in elementary schools, all the dances that girls were dropped off by their fathers, and the Father's Day gifts that I never got to make, those are the memories I have of you. All of the things I missed out on because you chose yourself over my brother and I. Why on earth is that fair? Why is it that I am the bad guy for letting go of someone that gave not a care in the entire world? Why is it that I had to be the one to suffer and be in pain while I waited until 8:30 pm on your weekends when you promised to be there by 5? Why are you not the one to blame? For years I have been selfless and allowed you to roll right over me with your lies, words, and tears. Now, I realize just what a toxic human being you really are. I deserve better, and so does my brother.

Through all the pain and the hardships I have been through, you didn't care. I had to get a job this past year because my family just can't make it without your promised child support. "It's in the mail, I promise." As always, your words meant nothing because, in the grand scheme of things, you don't care what your kids are going through anymore. You simply use us as an excuse to get jobs to pay for God-knows-what.

So, I have just one thing left to say to you. I did it without you, and I will do everything else without you because you do not deserve my little brother or myself. I wish you the best of luck in all aspects, but I can no longer put myself in a situation to be hurt.

Sincerely,

The Best Thing You Will Never Have