Dear awful human being,

Hello. I am not sure if you remember me, but I was your server. You know, the one that greeted you with a smile and asked how your day was. I was the one that listed off all the drinks we had in the restaurant because you just could not for the life of you decide what you wanted. Once you finally told me your drink order I rushed off to grab those drinks and deliver them to you. After what felt like a lifetime of waiting for you to order, you finally picked a meal to eat. Even though it took you forever to decide, which kept me from checking on my other tables, I still took your order with a smile on my face.

You might have also forgotten how thirsty you were that day, but I sure do. I remember because I had to keep running back to the drink station to get you another diet coke. However, no matter how many times I had to stop what I was doing to refill your drink, I still kept that smile on my face for you. You seemed to have forgotten that you were in a packed restaurant with plenty of other customers that also need their drinks refilled. I say this because you gave me attitude when you did not receive your refill in .05 seconds of asking me for it.

Once your meal came, I made sure to ask if everything was perfect and, of course, you made a rude comment on how long the food took. As if I was the one in the kitchen cooking your food. I find it funny that I was able to get you all those diet coke refills while also taking care of multiple other tables AND cook your food at the same time. Wow, I must have super powers. When I checked in and asked how everything tasted you of course let me know how subpar the food was, even though you had basically licked the plate clean.

When I brought you your bill, you seemed beyond confused how your total could be so much, even though the menu clearly states the specific prices of what you ordered. Although I personally walked you through each item you ordered and how it added up, you still seemed dumbfounded. I made sure to apologize for MY mistake of not warning you how much money you were spending. After you finally paid and left, I went over to the table to see what you left me for a tip. I understood that simple addition was difficult for you, so I was not expecting a large tip by any means. However, when I saw that you left absolutely no money on the table for me, I felt sorry for you. If you cannot afford to leave a tip, especially after making me wait on you hand and foot, then you should not go out to eat.

Sincerely,

Your extremely annoyed server