To the People in Clown Suits Terrorizing America,

I imagine you all, not in your right mind, got together with your other lame friends and had the following conversation: (I’ve written it in script form so it’s easy for your microscopic brains to follow)

Moron #1: You know what we should do?

Moron #2: Dress up in clown suits and terrorize people?!!

Moron #3: Hardy-dee-har-har! Yeah bruh, let’s do it.

Moron #4: It’s not like we have jobs....

After that you got online in a group chat with other internet trolls from other states, and henceforth: The Clown Mafia was born! You’ve reached your peak level of badass-ness never seen before. Congratulations!

Since you pea-brains are clearly unemployed high school dropouts who are still financially dependent and live with your parents, no wonder you had nothing better else to do! You probably got a group discount on the clown suits; I bet your Mothers were so so proud of you! I guess you never really had a teen angst phase, so you really wanna “stick it to the man” now that you know you’re not entitled to anything and actually have to work hard to be successful. You represent the blatant stupidity of people the rest of us have to sit there and tolerate every day.... even though every word that comes out of your mouth makes us feel like we’re losing IQ points by being near you.

If you wanted to incite fear and create terror, congratulations; you did it. *Insert sarcastic slow clap here* I hope you’ll be happy when you face the general public and your identities are revealed after you’re promptly arrested and brought to justice. You're not funny and you're not "cute". You’ve succeeded in making thousands of innocent citizens who actually contribute to society fear for their lives, for absolutely no purpose. You’ve made Oklahoma University go on lock down and interrupted people trying to pursue higher education, again for absolutely no purpose other than your own childish amusement.

But here’s the real message that I want to give you….

I can’t speak for the citizens of other states (although I doubt they’d be any different) but the citizens of the great state of Oklahoma aren’t going to take your crap. They, unlike you, aren’t cowards, and will confront and report you until every single last one of you idiots is arrested and brought to justice for setting out to do our families, children, neighbors, and friends harm by attempting to terrorize us. Now’s the time to stop this senseless foolishness. Oklahomans won’t stand for this stupid decision you’ve chosen to make.

Sincerely,