First I want to thank you, but honestly, the only good thing you did was inspire this letter.
I want to let you in on something: your words have more of a lasting effect than you realize. You do not know my story, and I am sure you have thrown this word around to describe others as well. I can only speak of my story, so I am here to let you in on a few things. Quite frankly, I do not owe you an explanation, but I respect you enough to at least let you know.
As a five-year-old little girl, I had no idea what clingy was, but I knew that when I had found a friend, I wanted to make sure I kept them. Maybe that lead to me being "clingy." But that same little girl was the one who at six, seven, eight, nine, 10, and so on would be picked on for matters out of her control. That same little girl was the one who was nice to every kid on the playground who was not nice to her. So of course when I was shown a little bit of attention, I would more or less cling to it. But that was not my intention ever. I'll let you in on my intentions later.
As a 13-year-old little girl, anxiety ruled my world. I'm guessing you more than likely do not have anxiety, so you probably throw this word around to explain things as well. However, anxiety is something that can not be put fully into words. I would feel as if my world would cave in at any given second, and my chest would tighten. I would feel as if every single person in a room was examining my every move. You see that word you used to describe me -- clingy -- has now lead me to want to push people away because just the thought of saying hey to someone scares me.
Maybe I just like having answers. We all do. Yourself included. Maybe I just like the feeling of having a friend. It is human.
As a 16-year-old girl, I looked around trying to count the true number of friends I had on one hand. I would think about all the friendships I had gained and lost over the years, and the reason most of them were lost was because of people like you who used the wrong words to describe me. That's the thing about people -- they often believe things about others before even giving the person a chance. So think about all the friendships and memories you cost me.
As a girl halfway through her freshman year of college, these words still haunt me at times. I know people still use them to describe me, but I am anything but clingy. Here's what you do not realize about calling me clingy: people will take clingy and turn it into desperate, and then before you know it, someone is calling you crazy. On a small campus, word travels fast. You can read the looks on people's faces. I am not the only one who has been wounded by this word. I do have true friends here who have been affected by this word you like to use as well. I have seen people turn their backs on them because a simple, "Hey, when are you going to lunch?" set off too many red flags because of an inaccurate description of them.
I told you earlier that I was going to let you in on the intentions which drove my actions. And they are simple: I did not want anyone to feel alone. I did not want anyone to feel as if they did not have a true friend. I did not want anyone to feel like me.
I knew at the end of the day if I tried with all my might to be someone's friend, even if I may have seemed "clingy," I would know that they knew beyond the shadow of a doubt, that they did have a true friend in me. And that is all that matters.
I hope life is treating you well, and I hope that you have a "clingy" friend in your life, one that does truly care about you. Because it is hard to find one in this fast-paced world.
