Scene: My 10th birthday party. My friends had all come over for a scavenger hunt (because we were super cool), dinner, and a sleepover, we were all having an amazing time. Then things start to go downhill.
So, I had, uh, "developed" a little earlier than everyone else and my friends noticed that I was wearing a bra (*GASP*). At the time, this was literally the worst thing in the world. I didn't want them to know that I was growing up! I wanted to still be a kid like all of my friends. But nope; my teeth were shifting, my hair was poofing more than ever before (which is saying something), and I was wearing a bra. My kid years were gone and I was not too thrilled that everyone knew that. So naturally I sobbed in my sleeping bag for like 20 minutes until I got over myself...
Ok. So you're probably wondering why I thought my childhood was over at the age of ten, right? In retrospect, I can obviously see that this was not the case, but at the time I had know idea what was ahead of me. And what was ahead of me, you ask? Those awkward teen years where you are super self-conscious, that's what. You know those years; the ones with the awkward haircut, braces, overly protruding chin (because the rest of your face hasn't caught up yet). Basically, when you feel like you are about as cute and coordinated as a baby giraffe....
If only I could see my future self while all of this was going on, so that I could know that, eventually, those awkward years would pass (at least for the most part, I'm still a pretty big weirdo). If I could talk to my ten year old self and give her some advice on how to get through those terrible tween years, here is what I would say:
1. You are still growing
Yeah you think you look hella awkward, but what tween doesn't? (Except for maybe tweens today...I don't quite understand how they are skipping the awkward years but whatever..I'm not bitter...) Everyone is growing, developing, and changing. Don't flip out just because you are too! Eventually your front teeth will fit your mouth instead of being ultra-buck-toothy as they are now. Just be patient.
2. Don't worry too much about what people think of you
This is literally a death trap. Don't waste your time worrying about how everyone else sees you. As long as you are being the you that you want to be, that's all that matters. It is hard not to care about other's opinions, but to be honest, once you graduate high school you will hardly see any of these people anymore. Be as awkward as you want, in a few years it won't matter in the slightest.
3. Know that people change
Right now, you are best friends with the same girls you have been friends with since Kindergarten. That's great! Maintain those friendships as long as they are good, strong relationships. Know, though, that people do change as they get older. This is not a bad thing, just a natural thing. Don't get discouraged when you find yourself not fitting in with the same clique you've always hung around with. Not only will the people around you change as they discover themselves, but so will you. Let this happen. There is nothing worse than trying to act like someone you are not. Just breathe, relax, and know that you will find your people, no matter how long it takes.
4. Please. PLEASE. DON'T GET BANGS.
They don't work. Trust me. You will have the urge to get bangs in seventh grade. Just don't do it. Thank you from your future self.
5. Don't be so hard on yourself
I feel like middle school is a constant brain battle when you incessantly compare yourself to those around you. Know that the you that the world sees is not the same you that you see. Stop being so hard on yourself in your head. The world does not notice half the flaws you see in yourself.
6. Your acne will clear up...eventually.
Thank God. Just stick it out.
7. Don't feel over shadowed by your siblings when you have to follow in their footsteps.
About 80% of your middle school and high school teachers will meet you and immediately ask, "Oh you're Derek's sister?", and then proceed to talk about how great he is (with exception of one teacher*). Don't get cranky. He was there first, it's no biggie.
As for Jess, just becuase she is a cool teenager doesn't mean that you have to try to be one. She is nine years older than you, obviously you're going to feel like a kid around her. Don't try to act cool, you just end up looking more like a dweeb (I say that with love).
*In case you're curious about that one teacher, you politely yet effectively put her in her place. Family first mini me, remember that.
8. Go to the eye doctor. Now.
You probably don't even know you need glasses. You're eyesight is barely off, but it's just enough that you will start getting insane migraines every once in a while. You are not dying. Just get glasses and you'll be fine.
(OK but realistically, you're not always going to wear them when you should [I still don't], so when you do get a migraine: excedrin,coffee, chocolate, something warm on your eyes, dark room, nap for 3 hours. You'll be good to go.)
9. Do things outside of your comfort zone.
It is easy to get stuck in a routine, and to only do the things that you know you will be good at. Take the time to try new things. Maybe you'll be awful at it but that's ok. At least now you know. Maybe you'll find something you love, who knows. Be brave, take chances, and don't be too scared to participate in life, even the part of it that make you nervous.
10. Don't waste your time trying to figure out your life.
Honestly, I'm still figuring things out, so don't expect that you're going to magically understand how the world works anytime soon. Don't stress about the future, just go with the flow and know that everything will be OK. Things have a habit of working themselves out. And until they do, just know that I'm doing alright, so get excited for what's ahead. :)
