Taking care of your mental health is one of the most important things you need to do because without it, you fall into a realm of sadness, stress, and uneasiness - all of these and even more unsettling emotions ultimately tie together into depression. And depression is something that we do not talk about with enough urgency and care - something that quickly needs to change.
College is an extremely difficult adjustment, and I think we can all agree on that. But after a year of transitioning, you would expect things to become easier. Right? But that is not always the case. You study harder, you put in your hours but you still don’t get the grade you deserve. You stay in at on the weekends to catch up on all of your assignments, but even then you are falling behind. There are students who perform better in class even though they do not put in half of the effort you do. You feel lonely in a sea of thousands of other students. Everyone you know seems to be in a relationship; everyone you know seems to have someone whom they can hug at the end of the day and feel a little better. Students show themselves off as those who can balance their social life and academic life so well that you begin to question your own abilities of doing the same things.
After some time, all of these observations catch up to you, and you start to think that you are less than everyone you know. No matter how small it may be, you find yourself comparing your looks, your grades, your wants and needs, basically your entire being to those who seem to have it all. This leads you to become so unhappy with yourself that you forget to remember all of the wonderful things that make up who you are. With this unhappiness eventually comes the crippling depression that we fear but sometimes cannot escape. It slowly creeps into you. It starts with spending long hours tossing and turning in bed throughout the night. It continues until your alarm goes off as soon as you begin to fall into a somewhat peaceful slumber, and then you lie awake staring at the ceiling trying to kick yourself to get dressed and go on with your day. It only seems to temporarily end when you have cried so much that you do not have any tears left to spill out of your eyes. And then it starts again. Maybe not until the next day, or week, or month. But when it does come back, it feels as if you have become even more of a soulless being than before.
There will be some people who read this and think my words are an over-exaggeration. There will be others who have friends that are going through it all, and even those who are experiencing such a darkness themselves. To those of you who want to turn a blind eye and ignore this topic of discussion, I sincerely hope that you are able to find the strength and courage to understand that such things happen - that those closest to you may be hurting. To those of you who know someone or if you are dealing with depression or anxiety yourself, just know that you are not alone. There are so many people around you have gone through it and conquered. Surround yourself with those who love you. The amount of love and care that people have for you is bountiful. And do not be ashamed of seeking help, for it is the first step to recovering and finding the confidence and appreciation for yourself again.
Do not let the stress of college or others’ expectations of you come in the way of how you see yourself. You are not just a number, even though it may always seem like it. You are not going to spend your entire life alone even though you are convinced you will be. If you were full of excitement and happiness before, you can have that once again. You will pass that class. You will graduate. You will get a job. You will get married. You will get what you want. You will be okay. Everything will turn out just fine, and you will look back at these moments and days of sadness and fear and smile to yourself because you got through a time that you thought would be a forever thing. You are the sun and the stars and the whole universe to some people. Without you, their lives would not be the same. By taking care of yourself and seeking help when needed, you are not only bringing the lost balance and peace into your life but you are also giving others the assurance that you are going to be a part of their lives like they want you to be.
