The Merriam-Webster dictionary gives us two definitions of the word bitch: 1) A lewd or immoral woman; 2) A malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman.
Lewd implies sexual promiscuity. Malicious implies intent to harm. Overbearing implies domination. So these definitions say that a “bitch” is a woman who sleeps around, uses her words as weapons with intent to kill, and is just too damn bossy.
Ladies, have you ever been called a bitch? I sure have. Bitch is one of the most common descriptors that people assign to me. And I say “assign” because I do not willingly identify with that term. And I’m not the only who has been assigned it. Our society calls females bitches more often than they call us women. And it has something to do with the fact that society has taken this word and redefined it. And not in a good way.
A woman who speaks her mind is labeled a bitch.
A woman who defends herself is labeled a bitch.
A woman who is loud spoken is labeled a bitch.
A woman with wit is labeled a bitch.
A woman with opinions is labeled a bitch.
A woman with morals and standards is labeled a bitch.
A woman who says no is labeled a bitch.
In my experience, strong women are labeled as bitches because society doesn’t know how to handle us yet. We voice our thoughts and opinions, we retort with quick comebacks, we stand up for what we believe in, we stand up for our own bodies and minds, and everyone else freaks out: “How dare you advocate for yourself? How dare you refuse to conform to the meek and mild-mannered women of the past? How dare you make me uncomfortable?”
And, thus, they label us as bitches. They call us lewd and malicious and overbearing because, to them, it pushes us back down to where we belong. And then they can live with themselves because they no longer feel threatened.
But let's look at the other side of spectrum. When the term bitch is assigned to a male, it has a completely different connotation. What is used to describe a promiscuous or cruel female is used to describe a “weak” male.
If a man cries, he’s called a bitch.
If a man shows affection, he’s called a bitch.
If a man is sensitive, he’s called a bitch.
We tell our girls to be too weak, and we tell our boys to be too strong. Our boys are taught that crying is unmanly, that giving a hug to another man is gay, that showing any ounce of sensitivity is weakness. All of that backwards thinking is ingrained in the word bitch.
So, girls, stop calling each other bitches. And, guys, stop calling each other bitches. And girls don’t do it to guys, and guys don’t do it to girls. It’s more than just a gender thing, it’s a human thing.
We have to be cognizant of the way our words affect others. It’s the same concept as calling a gay person a fag, or a calling a mentally challenged person a retard -- it’s labeling a whole person with a derogatory term of a single aspect of their personality. We are not bitches, we’re just people.
