Recently, an alarming number of people across multiple media platforms have expressed their beliefs that cheating on your significant other really isn’t that big of a deal, that it is seemingly expected, and I cannot stress enough how utterly destructive and problematic this way of thinking is.
I don’t commonly raise an eyebrow at the ideals and behavioral patterns of my own generation, I believe that every generation has the freedom to adopt new ideals as society changes because we can’t maintain outdated points of view and morals, and for the most part these ideals have never directly affected me. However this is just one point of view that I cannot and will not back. The mentality that “we all cheat” and cheating is just a “silly little thing” that we can’t allow ruining our relationships is truly disgusting.
The problem with cheating really isn’t even the cheating itself. In fact, most people can and have been able to get past the act itself. The real issue is the deception, the behind the back, and the manipulation. This kind of psychological warfare can prove significantly and permanently damaging to those who are on the receiving end of it, so to maintain the belief that this is something as minuscule as a fight about who pays for dinner or who drank a little too much at the bar is ridiculous. Cheating is heartbreaking. It strips a person of their ability to trust someone with their heart, it takes away their dignity and their willingness to open up and be vulnerable. This is not simple. This act rearranges a person’s perspective on love and commitment. Cheating breaks up families. It leaves children with a warped sense of familial values, wives and husbands without a partner, homes broken. It’s not as simple as jumping into bed with someone else. While you strip away each article of clothing, you stripping away the foundation of your partner’s whole belief system. How are they to know you won’t do it again? How are they to know anyone will remain faithful in a society that believes this behavior is normal? There is nothing normal about it.
In normalizing this behavior, we are allowing people to take away another person’s right to happiness and vulnerability. Not even just allowing, we are encouraging the behavior. How have we gotten here? By idolizing celebrities who have cheated and somehow managed to keep their marriages intact? Jay-Z admitted to cheating and the narrative became clearer: a man will urge listeners not to cheat because he nearly lost everything in doing so, and somehow the only thing people picked up from his statements was that he cheated and got away with it. Here’s the thing, though; you’re not the exception and you have no idea what that couple went through to get past that incident. You see the headlines and what little the media can gather, but no one knows about the hours of arguing or the packed bags or the papers that didn’t quite get filed. There’s nothing normal about cheating. Attempting to normalize it because of the few exceptions we’ve been exposed to is buying into the cynical view on love in society today. No, not everyone is a cheater. No, you don’t have to put up with it. No, you don’t have to become a shell of your former romantic self just to keep up with this notion. Generations before us are already pinpointing every mistake we make, and to add complete and utter disregard for loyalty and romance will be just another layer of disappointment. If that isn’t enough for you, think about the people that are being hurt by this. Your mothers, sisters, brothers refusing to give love another try because they are terrified of being lied to again. Being lied to by someone just like you, someone who thought what they were doing was normal. Imagine seeing that every day. It’s not hard to be faithful. Stop trying to normalize your weak nature and start treating people with decency and respect.
