I am constantly hearing girls talk about their weight, and it’s heartbreaking. They aren’t talking about their health or fitness knowing they can work on it and get where they want to be. Instead, they say it as if this is who they are and degrade themselves based on a number. Girls sometimes don’t go to the beach unless they have a shirt on, and they won’t post pictures that make them feel self-conscious.

Sadly, girls often are mean. They talk about each other, and you bet weight is one of those top topics. Being overweight isn’t the only thing to be made fun of. Frail, skinny girls will be called anorexic or bulimic, something that never ever should be made into a joke.

We just can’t seem to get it right, even if you work so hard and lose weight, there’s no doubt you are going to get some, “Are you eating?" comments. It’s always good to look out for each other, but you know when a question like that is genuine and when it’s not. Honestly, it’s getting to the point where we start to believe, why even try? We won’t ever be good enough for society’s expectations. However, hopefully, we can get to a point where we are good enough to meet our own. But how do we even decipher the two?

Society’s expectations become our own. What we see on TV, in media is what we yearn so hard for that I bet most of us don’t know what we would want to look like without seeing all of those photoshopped models. No one is happy with how they look and it is frightening.

I’m not really sure what we do about it, but I know receiving even a small compliment makes me feel good about myself. I see a lot of people walking around that I want to compliment, but is it weird? NOT AT ALL. Think about it, if you’re just walking on the street and someone came up to you and said, “I love your jeans! Where did you get them?” I bet that would make you smile.

My mom once told me a story about an older girl on the cheerleading team in her high school. For a fundraiser, they all had to wear these tall wool winter hats with a huge pom-pom on top to school. Everyone was so embarrassed, and no one wanted to wear it. My mother tells how that older girl walked around in that hat as if it was a crown. My mom made a comment to one of the other older girls how the cheerleader looked so good in the hat. Her response to my mother was, “She looks good in it because SHE thinks she looks good in it.”

My mother picked up on this girl’s confidence and it is that that made her look good. She wore that hat knowing that how it looked on her said nothing about who she was. So the words of wisdom I grew up hearing were, “If you think you look good, then you will.” I think that says so much, walking around with confidence does make a difference. Even if we don’t believe it at first, force the confidence onto yourself until you truly feel it.

There is no perfect look, perfect weight, and perfect face. We are all gorgeous, and I know every time someone has said that to me, I’ve been like, “Yeah, right.” But it’s true, and before anyone else is going to believe it we have to believe it ourselves. It can be work.

Stand in the mirror and pick one thing, one feature that you absolutely love or at least like about yourself. Focus on that thing every day for an entire week. Then switch the feature; it’s a simple way to realize some of the little things that make you unique and beautiful.

Let’s stop making comments about each other’s weight because I bet if that person lost or gained as much as you think they should, you would find something else to comment on. Let’s not put others down to make ourselves feel better about what we don’t like in ourselves. Don’t let hurtful words come from our own insecurities. It’s not our fault, but let’s work on how we view ourselves and how we treat others.

Let’s make this the generation to move forward and move past body shaming. Embrace and celebrate the amazing different bodies we were given!