Have you ever noticed that the culture in the United States is kind of obsessed with business and stress? I didn't really notice until I left the states for four months. I knew that this worship of business and stress existed, but I didn't realize how damaging it was until after I returned. Everyone, including me, places an undeserved emphasis on how busy we are. This can be seen in everyday conversation. "I cannot believe how long this day has gone on! I have been up since eight!" "Yeah, well, I have been going since six! And listen to my day."
We are going through our days having a competition with our friends about how busy and awful our days were. Going abroad helped me realize how damaging this kind of relationship is - sure, it might be nice to get it off of your chest, but in this competition of who is the most busy, we are missing a moment to really connect with people. The competition takes away from a real opportunity for an experience to engage with someone.
When we compete, we are not really listening to what the other people are really saying. Instead, we are just brushing by it with another bigger and better comment about our day, never really comforting the other person that their struggles are also very real. Think about it - when you try and tell someone how busy or stressful your day was, looking for comfort, and when they just blow right by it to tell you how stressful their day was, it makes you feel like your own struggles are not real problems, and the cycle of business and stress continues.
Why don't we establish that everyone's routines are important and each have their own struggles? One job is not more important than the other, but they each contribute something important to society. Instead of flying by other's complaints, we need to each take the time out of our schedules to really listen to each other and talk about all of our struggles. It's only this way that we will really build deep and meaningful relationships.
One of my favorite songs is called "Let's Be Still" by the Head and the Heart. I love this song because it reminds me to take a step back and really enjoy this short life we have. These are some of my favorite lyrics:
"The world's just spinning
A little too fast
If things don't slow down soon we might not last.
So just for the moment, let's be still.
The days turn into months, the months turn into years.
So just for the moment, let's be still."
These lyrics remind me every time I hear them that life can fly past us: days, months, years even, before we even know it. And that's kind of a scary thought for me, and I don't know about you, but I am going to take every moment to slow down, truly listen to people and not let the precious moments and friendships of life pass me by.
