This is a sticky subject that no one really ever wants to confess to. It’s too uncomfortable. It brings up too many bad memories. It brings you back to the person you wished you weren’t at the time. But things happened. You can’t change the past. You can’t change what’s already been done, but you can learn from it. So what happens when you were the really toxic friend? What happens when you were the toxic individual in your relationship? What happens when you were the person that caused a lot of hurt, a lot of frustration, disappointment, and almost (or may have) caused the end of an important bond?
Hence the title, this is the elephant in the room that I don’t think is spoken about, well, ever.
We hear about the horror stories of how relationships ended because of a falling out. Someone cheated, someone lied, someone betrayed, someone hurt, or someone ignored. Things happen, relationships end, but what about when you were the person that sent it to the dark place to begin with?
I’ve been there, and I believe we all have. And I think one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to admit to ourselves is, “Wait…I was the bad person this time. I was the toxic friend. I did things I shouldn’t have. Now what?”
One of the biggest things I’ve had to get the hell over in my life is admitting I’m wrong, admitting I’m struggling, and/or admitting I’m just not okay. But what I’ve realized is that admitting these things, saying them to the people in your life…it isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of courage, a sign of bravery, a sign of strength. It’s easy to be all smiles and happiness when things are going great. That’s a walk in the part. But what about when things go wrong? What about when you become the person you told yourself you’d never become? That’s when things get hard, they get sticky, and they get scary, but during this time means a lot of self-discovery.
When you become THE toxic person in your life, whether it is to yourself, to your friends, to a significant other, to family members, to teammates, or anyone else in your life, this needs to be the time where you don’t shy away, but instead you admit that you know what? You’re not doing so hot. You made some mistakes. You did some pretty crappy things you shouldn’t have. But the difference between staying there versus moving onto bigger and better things is first recognizing your mistakes, apologizing and trying to mend those wrongdoings, and learning from them.
“Old ways won’t open new doors.” – Ashley Bridget
When you’re the toxic person in your life, turn it around to use it as growth. Use it as self-discovery. Use it to test and grow your resilience. It’s normal to take things out on the people you love. It’s because you’re comfortable with them, you know they won’t easily leave—but don’t push your limits. And don’t be ashamed if you screwed up. You’re human, we all screw up. But you have to recognize that you did and you cannot be afraid to apologize, to say you made a mistake, to say you were wrong.
Apologizing and admitting you made a mistake doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. It builds your character. Don’t be afraid to say sorry. Don’t be afraid to mend things you might have broken.
