College has taught me many useful things so far. One of them is that you can't please everyone 24/7.
I struggle with that. I'm that person who wants all of my friends to be happy all the time, no matter what that requires me to do. And that's not a bad thing until people start taking advantage of it.
If you're like me, you'll continue to make yourself hungry while waiting for a friend to go eat for hours, you'll drive someone out of your way over and over when you're exhausted just because they ask, and you'll blow off other people to try to keep your best friends happy.
PSA: None of these things are recommended or required for you to continue to do.
These are super nice things to do, but as you know, it can be EXHAUSTING and FRUSTRATING when you go from being a friend to being used as a convenience.
Don't get me wrong, being kind to others and doing favors for friends are incredible things to do, it means you have a kind heart, but it's not fair to yourself to let yourself be taken advantage of time and time again. Take it from an expert of getting taken advantage of.
It is perfectly okay to say no sometimes; make them drive their own car, don't take them out once you've already gotten into bed, or allow yourself to change plans when an important meeting or opportunity comes up.
If you're like me, the same friends that complain when you say no expect you to be perfectly fine when they tell you no in the same situations, seemingly without remorse or regret (as we sometimes feel). Why is it that our "no" isn't as acceptable as their "no" is?
I love my friends, I love doing things for them, and above all else, I love giving to people and making people happy, but when the number of people goes up from like 2-4 to 15-20, it becomes exhausting. I just need some me time, you know?
If you ever feel like this, I need you to know that it's okay to say no. It's okay be exhausted and take a break! Don't let yourself be burned out.
Even Jesus, the Son of God Himself needed breaks from His friends to go alone to pray. In Luke it talks about how He withdraws into "lonely places", undoubtedly telling his friends that he can't go play pool, or go bowling, or go eat at Chick-fil-A for the 5th time that day. Maybe not those things, but I'm sure you can see what I mean.
I wish that it hadn't taken me so long to realize these things. I hope that by sharing this I can help others realize this ability to say no because it really is a blessing.
No matter what you are told or who complains about it, know that you ARE allowed to say no.
Remember to keep your no once you commit, as the Bible says in Matthews "let your yes be yes, and your no be no".
