It's far too often that my best guy friend, or even just a close guy friend gets a girlfriend and all of a sudden, I'm nothing. And I'll admit, it hurts like no one’s business. It's like losing a part of yourself, one you didn't know you would miss but at the same time, you are happy because they are happy. So pretty much, you deal with it.
Until they break up, that’s when they come running back explaining it's not that they didn't want to be your friend but their girlfriend wouldn't let them. And I know sometimes they are completely bullshitting me. Trying to make me feel better for bailing but on more than one occasion they are completely telling the truth and I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND GIRLS LIKE THIS.
So to the girl dating my best friend who just told him he can no longer speak to me,
Please explain to me your logic. Honestly, because I don't get it. This has happened to me far too many times and I still don't understand what part of you thinks it is a good idea. And really please defend it to me if you can, I want to hear it but I am going to explain why it doesn’t make any sense to me
It's never happened before it won't happen now.
Honestly, I like to think of myself as pretty and fun and all that stuff boys want (it may not be true but let me think it is). But your boyfriend has never gone after me before, why do you think now that he's dating you he will? What boy is sitting there thinking “wow I've been friends with this girl for 4 years and I've never been attracted to her and yet now that I'm in a happy relationship, she's really hot” NO, your boyfriend is not thinking that. And if he is, he doesn't deserve me or you.
I will gladly be your friend.
I would like you to meet me before you judge me. Because really, I would love to be your friend. If you make the guy I call my brother happy than I want to get to know you. I honestly want to be your best friend. I want your boy to get jealous that we are hanging out so much. And if I'm offering that why would you still think I'm trying to go after him?
We will be upfront with you if you let me be.
I will admit there are some of my best guy friends that I've crushed on in the past, even one or two that went a little past just friends but I will be totally upfront about it. I will tell you what I felt and what happened but can also reassure you that he didn't feel the same way. Life happens, feelings get in the way sometimes, but he chose you. If I can be okay with that, why can’t you?
I’m like a dude when I’m around him.
I'm not a homewrecker, I would never knowingly be the person someone cheated with because that's just shitty. So, when we hang out it's not like when you are with him. We split checks, I wear sweats, we sit on our own couches and I have 100% brozoned him.
I’m helpful for your relationship.
Don't you want him to have a girl to talk to? So when you are fighting or he needs gift ideas he has a girl’s mind? Believe me, I have picked out more gifts for guys to give a girl that isn't me than you could imagine. I will be the one at 4am telling him he was an idiot for fighting with you over whatever dumb thing it is this time.
Our hangouts are hella basic.
There's probably less to worry about when he's with me than when he's with the guys. Guys go to strip clubs, get drunk and talk smack. But really if we are hanging out, it's most likely grabbing dinner and doing homework. Nothing glamorous or that has any potential to lead to anything else.
I really am not trying to interfere in your relationship, I just don't want to lose my best friend. I know he's going to put you first but he's been through so much with me that I still need him sometimes. I need him for when some other guy breaks my heart and when I need someone who appreciates my love for football. So, let's all be friends, please.
