Mid twenties midlife crisis

To The Women Who Are Starting Their Careers And Their Lives But Are Being Guilted About Both

Please stop telling me I need to find a 9 to 5 job but also start pumping out babies.

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I am approaching that stage in my 20's where things are getting serious. I am working and writing for multiple companies, finishing school and have gotten engaged with my significant other of almost 8 years. So, things are moving along in my adult life, and I am starting to really notice the pressure from everything around me. Though, that pressure isn't the one that is starting to give me anxiety about the decisions I am making.

To reiterate, I am 24 years old. I am in a loving relationship and on the right path for my career to where I know that I will eventually land in the position that I want and also will be happily married to my fiance. So, what's the problem? People. More specifically, those people in my life that feel the need to make comments about my current situation. No matter who it is I speak to about my current life track has some kind of critical comment to add over what course of action is correct. Let's see if any of these phrases sound familiar to any one of you.

"You're going to need to start planning for a baby."

"Oh, if you get that job out of state, you will struggle in your relationship."

"You can't go too crazy in moving because you are getting married."

"Aren't you excited for when you have a baby?"

The list of obnoxious things people have told me can go on if I had the time to write it all down. It's just judgment on all ends of your life and it never stops. I know I am not the only woman who is currently dealing with this kind of issue. Time and time again, I see in real life how so many women I know are being told that they had children too young, or are going to regret holding out on having a child. Or, they need to settle down and find themselves a good man or woman to really know what a good life looks like.

Women in Japan are currently paving the way for this kind of judgment culture. When I say paving the way, I don't mean to sound as if I am judging these women, I mean they are the prime example. With the pressures of choosing between their careers and having children, either choice is seen as a burden. You are discriminated against for having a child, but also slammed in the media for the decrease in population when they choose their careers. There is no in-between, and honestly, I am starting to feel the same way.

I don't know if it is the culture from the previous generations with their importance of settling down and having a flourishing career. But for me, a kid who came from a single parent home who only saw hustle in the midst of having children at a young age, I personally don't know what I want.

I know that maybe one day I want kids, but I also know that right now the idea of a baby crying makes me want to gag. I also know that I want my career to be blooming with opportunity, but I also want to forget my deadlines and be a bum.

While it's all good and fun to receive advice every once in a while from people about these things, there is also a limit as to how much is too much. We live in a time now, where women no longer are seen as a piece of meat to mold and control. I am a woman who wants to do whatever the hell I want in my 20's, 30's, 40's, 90's and everything in between. I already have to deal with the pressures of my school life, work life, social life, and overall just mental health. I am judging me, so I and the other millions of women in their mid 20's don't need you to either.

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Working With People Who Are Dying Teaches You So Much About How To Live

Spending time with hospice patients taught me about the art of dying.

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Death is a difficult subject.

It is addressed differently across cultures, lifestyles, and religions, and it can be difficult to find the right words to say when in the company of someone who is dying. I have spent a lot of time working with hospice patients, and I bore witness to the varying degrees of memory loss and cognitive decline that accompany aging and disease.

The patients I worked with had diverse stories and interests, and although we might have had some trouble understanding each other, we found ways to communicate that transcended any typical conversation.

I especially learned a lot from patients severely affected by dementia.

They spoke in riddles, but their emotions were clearly communicated through their facial expressions and general demeanor, which told a story all on their own.

We would connect through smiles and short phrases, yes or no questions, but more often than not, their minds were in another place. Some patients would repeat the details of the same event, over and over, with varying levels of detail each time.

Others would revert to a child-like state, wondering about their parents, about school, and about family and friends they hadn't seen in a long time.

I often wondered why their minds chose to wander to a certain event or time period and leave them stranded there before the end of their life. Was an emotionally salient event reinforcing itself in their memories?

Was their subconscious trying to reconnect with people from their past? All I could do was agree and follow their lead because the last thing I wanted to do was break their pleasant memory.

I felt honored to be able to spend time with them, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was intruding on their final moments, moments that might be better spent with family and loved ones. I didn't know them in their life, so I wondered how they benefited from my presence in their death.

However, after learning that several of the patients I visited didn't have anyone to come to see them, I began to cherish every moment spent, whether it was in laughter or in tears. Several of the patients never remembered me. Each week, I was a new person, and each week they had a different variation of the same story that they needed to tell me.

In a way, it might have made it easier to start fresh every week rather than to grow attached to a person they would soon leave.

Usually, the stories were light-hearted.

They were reliving a memory or experiencing life again as if it were the first time, but as the end draws nearer, a drastic shift in mood and demeanor is evident.

A patient who was once friendly and jolly can quickly become quiet, reflective, and despondent. I've seen patients break down and cry, not because of their current situation, but because they were mourning old ones. These times taught me a lot about how to be just what that person needs towards the end of their life.

I didn't need to understand why they were upset or what they wanted to say.

The somber tone and tired eyes let me know that what they had to say was important and worth hearing. What mattered most is that someone who cared was there to hear it.

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My First College Gal Pal Road Trip Was Amazing

Every girl should have one good girls trip.

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In some way or another, everybody has a list of things they want to do in their lives before it's all over. After all, we're human. There's adventure to be had in every life. One thing I have always wanted to do before I grew too old and grey was go on a road trip with my gal pals to the beach. A couple weeks ago, I achieved this memorable milestone, and it allowed me to open up to new surroundings and experiences.

On this trip, I went with two of my friends from college, Kait and Lindsey, to visit my roommate Elizabeth in Virginia Beach. This was pretty big for Lindsey and I because neither of us had been to Virginia Beach before. Thankfully Elizabeth and Kait knew their way around the city, so we never got lost on our way to and fro.

Like most vacations, my favorite parts probably took place at the beach. I'm always at utter peace stomping through mushy sand or leaning down to splash the salty water that tries to knock my short self over. We took pictures and did something us college girls rarely have time to do especially in school: Relax.

The four of us did not live up to the crazed stereotype of girl trips in movies. Although I finally got a chance to sing along to Taylor Swift in a car ride with my friends, so that's always a plus. We played "Top Golf" one day, and by some miracle, I actually won the second game by a fair amount after much humiliation in the first one. We visited some of Elizabeth's family, and I finally got to meet her giant dog Apollo (I call him 'Wolf Dog'). Everyday was another chance to ask with enthusiasm: "So what are we doing today?"

Our trip wasn't like the movies where we all cried or confessed our deepest darkest secrets. Everything the four of us shared was laughter and this calm feeling of being at home, in the chaotic peace of each other's company. We understand each other a little better due to finally seeing what we're like outside of Longwood University. After this, all I can say is that we're most definitely planning the next one!

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