I am approaching that stage in my 20's where things are getting serious. I am working and writing for multiple companies, finishing school and have gotten engaged with my significant other of almost 8 years. So, things are moving along in my adult life, and I am starting to really notice the pressure from everything around me. Though, that pressure isn't the one that is starting to give me anxiety about the decisions I am making.
To reiterate, I am 24 years old. I am in a loving relationship and on the right path for my career to where I know that I will eventually land in the position that I want and also will be happily married to my fiance. So, what's the problem? People. More specifically, those people in my life that feel the need to make comments about my current situation. No matter who it is I speak to about my current life track has some kind of critical comment to add over what course of action is correct. Let's see if any of these phrases sound familiar to any one of you.
"You're going to need to start planning for a baby."
"Oh, if you get that job out of state, you will struggle in your relationship."
"You can't go too crazy in moving because you are getting married."
"Aren't you excited for when you have a baby?"
The list of obnoxious things people have told me can go on if I had the time to write it all down. It's just judgment on all ends of your life and it never stops. I know I am not the only woman who is currently dealing with this kind of issue. Time and time again, I see in real life how so many women I know are being told that they had children too young, or are going to regret holding out on having a child. Or, they need to settle down and find themselves a good man or woman to really know what a good life looks like.
Women in Japan are currently paving the way for this kind of judgment culture. When I say paving the way, I don't mean to sound as if I am judging these women, I mean they are the prime example. With the pressures of choosing between their careers and having children, either choice is seen as a burden. You are discriminated against for having a child, but also slammed in the media for the decrease in population when they choose their careers. There is no in-between, and honestly, I am starting to feel the same way.
I don't know if it is the culture from the previous generations with their importance of settling down and having a flourishing career. But for me, a kid who came from a single parent home who only saw hustle in the midst of having children at a young age, I personally don't know what I want.
I know that maybe one day I want kids, but I also know that right now the idea of a baby crying makes me want to gag. I also know that I want my career to be blooming with opportunity, but I also want to forget my deadlines and be a bum.
While it's all good and fun to receive advice every once in a while from people about these things, there is also a limit as to how much is too much. We live in a time now, where women no longer are seen as a piece of meat to mold and control. I am a woman who wants to do whatever the hell I want in my 20's, 30's, 40's, 90's and everything in between. I already have to deal with the pressures of my school life, work life, social life, and overall just mental health. I am judging me, so I and the other millions of women in their mid 20's don't need you to either.