We've all experienced someone toxic before. We've watched someone screw us over time and time again, we've allowed them to get away with the awful things they say and do to others. Then we finally wised up and cut them off.
Then, we talk shit.
As healing as it can be to talk your way through a toxic situation in order to cope, that in and of itself can become toxic, too.
Hating that person for what they did only makes you exactly what they are: toxic.
It's easy to hate. It's easy to be judgmental and to wish the worst for an awful person. It's natural. What isn't easy is respectfully and maturely detaching yourself from that person. It isn't easy to say, "I may never want to let that person in again, but I wish them well."
Because we feel so deeply affected by our experiences, our initial way of retaliating is revenge, or talking about them, or wanting everyone in our lives to cut them off, like we did. We have to remember that not everyone had the same experience with this person and that we only give them more power by expecting our whole friend group to stand beside us in trashing them. Unfortunately, not everyone will feel as strongly about this person as you do. Which can create more anger and hurt.
When coming out of a toxic situation, we can feel angry, which often times means that we feel hurt. Our innate desire to get revenge, or wishing karma would get them one day, only adds to those heavy emotions. Having those spiteful feelings can weigh you down, and can prolong your grief.
As much as we don't care to admit it, sometimes that toxic person can be you. We hate to think that we are capable of becoming like that person who hurt us, but if you aren't careful, it may consume you. Let yourself feel hurt and angry, but don't hold on to it. It's healthy to let your thoughts flow through you. Don't hold on to them, but don't let them pass by, either.
Remember that this takes time.
It's unrealistic to expect yourself to automatically release that pain and forgive easily. As ideal as that may be, building yourself up to be a forgiving and peaceful person takes copious amounts of time and effort. Several years later, I'm still working on forgiving people from my past. It's okay to acknowledge your hurt. Allow yourself to feel what you feel in the best way possible for you to move forward. But remember it's your hurt, not you are hurt.
Don't worry. Karma will come back around for them one day. But you are in no position of control with karma. In fact, the best way to get back at them is to live a happy and carefree life without them.
