Learning To Let Go

Ever be so committed to an individual that you couldn't imagine your life without (whether it is a significant other, a best friend or a family member)? You care so much it hurts, you would do anything to make them happy and feel better. And they care for you, they love you but just not the same or they do not reciprocate the feelings.

It is time to learn to let them go.

It is hard, it sucks. But you can do it.

The first and one of the most important things to do is realize when it's time. Not time to stop trying, not time to completely remove these people from your life but time to realize it is not the best relationship for you. Or that it is not the best time for that relationship to happen yet.

There are so many signs for this I cannot even count, they become more distant, start talking to other people, you may fight way more often than normal, you may feel sad, as if they don't care (THEY DO TRUST ME)! Or even like you are wasting your time. This is when you need to take a step back.

Like a literal step back.

And figure out what you want out of the relationship AND what is more important to you to get out of the relationship. Is it better for you to be in a relationship or save the friendship? Is it better to just remove that person from your life completely?

For me, friendship was the most important. I wanted nothing more than to be more than friends, and kiss and cuddle but having him as my friend was 100 percent more important. And it took me what felt like forever to realize that I was caught up in a fantasy that really wasn't going to happen.

And it wasn't for a lack of caring for one another. I love him to pieces and he loves me but it wasn't the right time, we were at two different stages of our lives and needed to figure out our lives and future before we could even think about being together.

Of course, it is super hard, and we are still even now getting through things, but I've learned to let it go for now. There is no need to be stressed about something that is not actually going to happen at first. It is better to be focused on school and my future and building a life and name for myself.

But it is hard

So so so hard

And of course I cried, I mean I still cry sometimes, I still get jealous, I still get annoyed. But I know that having him as my friend to support me and all the big life-changing decisions in my life is what I need, and what he needs. There are definitely things that you can do to make it easier.

You SHOULD take some time for yourself. Let yourself breathe for a bit, let yourself cry and be upset. You do not have to spend every waking second with the person you are letting go, and it might be better to take a bit of time to just chill, drink some wine or a beer and RELAX!

You SHOULD pick up a new hobby, do something new for yourself. Go to the gym, dye your hair, pick up knitting, read a book. Do something for YOU and do not let anyone tell you whether or not you should. Making yourself happy, is one of the healthiest things you can do. Not only will it better you emotionally, but it will also be better for you physically, mentally and socially as well.

I have struggled for years accepting that it wasn't the time. I have had many fights and hard times with my friends because of it. But realizing it just wasn't right, and working on myself for the last few weeks has made me a much better person. It has made my relationship stronger, healthier and happier with not only my "boy" but all of my friends.

It was hard and it sucks (even still) but it is amazing in the long run.