We've all gone through it at some point in our lives - the part where it feels like a big change is happening, and we're just not used to it. In order to "get by" or whatever, while this change is occurring, is to rely on the memories -- a sort of substitute to make it seem as though nothing has changed at all. We don't do this because we're weak. We do this because we are human, and sometimes living in a so called "fantasy world" is more comfortable than facing the music and moving forward with our lives.

I am a victim of sulking in my fantasy world from time to time. I have scolded my conscious numerous times as it was delving back into recent or long over due memories about old friendships, high school, ex-lovers, old boyfriends, my childhood -- you name it. And it's funny to think that I do these things because I am so for "change" and wanting to move on with my life. Still, I struggle with closing a certain chapter and accepting a little bit of the pain that reality brings with it -- the concept of truly moving on. Maybe it's because I'm so sentimental, because I'm very nostalgic. It's in my nature, in my blood and that'll never go away. But if you're like me, you spend a little too much time floating around in the clouds, mistaking your current world for your past.

I'm not here to tell you to stop thinking about your past. How can you? Especially if some of them involve monumental experiences. But if you're so caught up in them, that it's distracting you or keeping your hopes up that the past will come back, then you have a problem. You have to realize that it is not healthy. It's a scary thing, and I know it takes a lot of courage, but living in a time and place that just isn't anymore, is not how you should be living. It's time to live in the here and now, and to live it the fullest because someday, those moments will be memories that you will crave. So why lose out on the current time and place?

There’s something here that I want to talk about that is bordering on really personal, and even though I am one for being blunt and an open book. (Seriously, when I was in high school, I would tell my life story to taxi drivers...) I still like to disclose a few things for myself. I won’t give away the entire story, as I want to keep it kind of close to me, but I’ll vaguely use it as an example for when we tend to fall into that fantasy-like trap that keeps us from really living. Before I start, I just want to remind all who are reading this, that I am not telling you to stop dreaming and having fantasies of wonderful things that make you happy. I'm telling you to reevaluate some of them that are harmful. There's a difference between the good fantasies and the bad: the bad leaves you disappointed and stunted.

After my first love and I broke up the final time and cut all ties for good, last September, I found myself still in love with him; in one way or another. I knew that he had wronged me and that I deserved so much more, but because he played such a huge role in my life, I clung on to the hope that he was going to come back like all the other times. That was a routine that I was used to. I had high expectations, kind of like Tom from "(500) Days of Summer." Even though we weren't together and we were on zero speaking terms for basically, life, I had this little idea in my head (almost like a story) that he was thinking about me.

Even though our situation was finished for, I didn't see it that way. I made it as though I was living in my own dramatic romance film, like the movie "Like Crazy," and I kept putting this stupid unrealistic idea in my head that he was going to come back. It was literally as though I was making up a novel or a movie in my mind, and I was typecasting myself as "the girl," the main character who is loved unconditionally no matter what by the leading male character. And of course, he would just have to come back because they had a connection that wasn't able to die out. I was using these ideas in my head to fill the hole in my heart.

When I saw him on campus, or in the dining halls, or just walking down the hallway, we would make eye contact and I would be instantly filled with nothing but adrenaline and excitement. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. I wasn't disclosing myself from these emotions, like I should have done. Instead, I was encouraging them, proceeding to live this fantasy life to fulfill my sadness... my hope that he would come back and we would live happily ever after. He was gone. We were finished. Why did I have to make an excuse that him making eye contact with me meant something -- when it didn't? It was infuriating, and I was embarrassed for feeling these things, but I kept doing it. A part of me deep down even knew that he wouldn't come back ever, but yet I was still okay with feeling something with him than nothing at all. How crazy is that?

I know you're probably reading this, thinking that I am a crazy person or an obsessive ex-girlfriend, but I'm not. I'm just a woman who is desperately trying to run away from things, but still looking back to avoid moving forward, and to accept the fact that it's time to move on. And maybe it's not just about him. Maybe it's other things, too. But bottom line, living in a fantasy world that something wonderful and grand is going to happen, when you know it won't, is dangerous. Not everything is attainable, and you just have to let it go. It's just going to disappoint and hurt you in the end. Don't you want to wake up and live the life right in front of you?

I know that my example of living in a fantasy world is just one of the many. You've experienced a couple, at least so far in your lives. And some are bigger than other fantasies. Again, I'm not telling you to stop daydreaming, or to stop dreaming in general. But what are the ones that are worth it in the end? Which fantasies and dreams are worth keeping around. If they only drag you backwards in a downward spiral, it's time to pinch yourself awake. Trust me, I know it's harder than it sounds - the mind is a powerful thing... but it will be so worth it in the end. Let go of those addictive thoughts that gravitate you back in time. There is no time machine. The memory has ran it's course. You deserve a new day and a new life with new recollections.

Who wants to live a life waiting on something that isn't going to happen?

Nobody.