As the start of the fall semester draws nearer, I've seen article after article aimed at students about to begin their first year of college, telling them how to act and what to avoid so they don't become "that freshman"

A year ago, I soaked up every word in these articles, determined not to embarrass myself. Now, as a rising sophomore, they rub me the wrong way.

You only get one first year of college. One first first move-in day, one first roommate, one first time eating in the dining hall. There are so many new people and new experiences in those first few weeks, and it's natural to be excited. It's natural to not know the ropes yet.

So why do we act as if freshmen should be ashamed to be new? Why do upperclassmen try to stomp the joy out of them before they've even arrived on campus? Starting college is stressful enough, why take the fun out of it?

Of course you've learned a lot over your time in school. You've learned that college classes are stressful, living in a dorm sucks, and the food in the dining hall should probably be classified as low-grade torture. And looking back on how you thought college would go before you started, I understand the desire to laugh and to extend advice to people in that place now. Advice is good! But the point of advice should be to help, not to shame.

When you say something like "don't bring an ironing board to college unless you want to look like the ULTIMATE freshman," you're implying that being a freshman is something that is inherently bad. You're encouraging freshmen to be overly critical of everything they do and say, and dampening and joy and excitement that come with those first few weeks.

Starting college is scary, and we should be trying to help freshmen know what to expect so they can tackle their first year with more confidence. However, before you give advice, think about how it’s going to come across to that scared freshman. Remind them that it’s okay to be naive, it’s okay to ask questions, and that the best way to learn is through experience, which will come with time.