This is the first topic that came to my mind when thinking about what my first Odyssey article should be about. The universe will always challenge you to help you learn and become the greatest version of yourself. Just remember that everything happens for a reason. If you dated someone and it ended good or bad, always acknowledge that it was a lesson for you to learn and grow from.
1. Communication
Communication is KEY for every relationship you have! Whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even a family member, good communication is essential for any healthy partnership. However, there is a fine line when it comes to communication. There are people who don't know how to communicate and others who do know. Some people know how to communicate well, but some won't because of their lack of interest. Some people won't say that they are upset about something and others will blow up and yell out of frustration. If there is an argument, don't say any low blows or use any forms of name-calling that you know will hurt your partner. It's a sign of abuse.
When something is bothering you, SPEAK and let your significant other know. A friend of mine told me, "Take time to listen to the other person when they're ready to talk and don't get mad at what you hear. I'll be the first to get pissed because someone told me something I didn't want to hear, but at the end of the day, that person took the time to speak out and talk to me about how they feel, so I should respect that." Always listen to your partner and understand where they are coming from. "All actions and decisions should be well thought out because you have to consider how your significant other will feel."
2. Know Your Worth
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A guy told me, "Don't stay in the relationship solely for the other person's well-being." That hit hard. With some of the guys I have talked to, I would always stay because I wanted to "help" them. I learned that the only one who can help them is themselves. Your personal happiness comes first! Always stay true to yourself and don't ever let yourself be consumed by that person. Don't let someone make you feel like any less of a person and don't let someone treat you as an option. Another guy told me, "Don't give your all to someone that's giving nothing at all." I have learned that if someone isn't reciprocating the same level of energy I'm giving, then I should really consider if they are worth my time. Your time is valuable.
3. Red Flags
"Your body senses bad vibes and you should definitely listen to the vibes. Your gut feeling is never wrong." I once was told three times by three different people in less than three days, "You need to be careful of those vampire energy suckers. They will drain you." When I heard it the third time, I knew it was a sign. My mind thought of that person who was draining my energy and I convinced myself that it wasn't him. Everything is about energy. The vibes you feel around certain people will tell you if the connection needs to be stopped or not.
Like I said in rule #2, always stay true to yourself. Another red flag is, if they are complaining about their ex and saying negative things about them, it just shows that the person isn't over the situation and is not ready for a new relationship. One of my best friends told me, "When being in a relationship you tend to not pick up on the red flags either because your infatuated with this person or you might be in denial. After the relationship ends, you realize all the red flags that you didn't pick up on before or chose to ignore but learning this helps in the next relationship." If you just met someone and there's something that they're doing that you personally don't like, make a mental note of it and don't ignore it.
4. Let Them Go
A friend of mine told me, "Never beg them to love you or to stay with you. If they want you, they will do the most." This again goes back to knowing your worth. Don't be with someone who is always in and out of your life. Do they only come to you when they're hurt or feeling down and need emotional support? Who is benefiting in this relationship? You might love him/her with all your heart and want to help them out with whatever situation they're going through but then suddenly, once they have your attention, they leave. You thought you were going to have another chance with this person and you told yourself, "Maybe this time, just this time, they will finally realize that I'm always there for them and they will want to be with me again."
I see this constantly happening all the time, but eventually, you will learn to let them go and you will value your worth. Another person told me, "Don't always feel bad when he/she cuts you off or ghosts you. He/she could have very personal reason(s) to do such a thing. Either involving you or not; most times you'll never find out the reason, so it's not worth making a big deal about it. It's some people's nature to disappear from your life without a good explanation and that's that." I have been ghosted before, it happened a few years ago! I was getting to know the guy and then out of nowhere, I stopped hearing from him. He totally ignored me. I was upset at first and began to wonder if something was wrong with me. Five months later I received a long text from him apologizing and telling me his reasons for ghosting me. This goes back to rule #1, communication, and how some people just don't know how to communicate well.
5. Don't Stop Doing The Little Things
The little things ALWAYS matter. A guy told me, "Always text good morning and goodnight, the reassurance of love, and making your person feel better on their bad days. Just show you care because sometimes with long relationships, some people forget to do those things and then it can create carelessness." We should always notice everything that our significant other does for us and do the same in return. In any relationship, for your friends or family members, always do the little things. It will make their day 10x brighter!
I can go on forever just talking about this! These were the main lessons that I have learned and what other people have told me as well. I hope you enjoyed this article and hopefully, you learned something out of this too. Just remember: we are in this life to learn and to grow, the universe has a plan for you, and everything always happens for a reason.
