They say you learn something from every relationship. That way, throughout all the ups and downs, you can remind yourself that it's all just a learning experience. So it's safe to say that a relationship that ends and begins over and over again has a lot to teach you. You might even go back a third or fourth time to learn some more.
1. You can love each other more than anyone else in the world, but that doesn't mean you're right for each other.
Breaking up over and over again is exhausting. No one in their right mind does it because they think it'll be fun. They do it because they're in love, and that has the ability to make you do some pretty stupid stuff. On-again-off-again relationships get a bad reputation and that's likely for good reasoning, but it's not because they're lacking any love. The truth is you can love each other as much as you want, but that might not be enough to make it work.
2. Fault cannot solely rest on one person.
It's easy to put all the blame on them. It's even easier to blame yourself. But a relationship is full of mistakes. It doesn't matter who did this that one time or who overreacted that other time. Bringing up those past mistakes after they've been forgiven is never going to make them disappear. What matters is that you take responsibility for the mistakes you've made, learn from them, and move on.
3. You can't change yourself for someone else.
After a few breakups, you might find yourself cutting up pieces of you to help fit into them. Don't. It's too easy to lose yourself in a relationship where you're terrified of losing them. Don't compromise who you are for the thrill of staying together. If they love you, it should be for who you are, not who you used to be or who they want you to be.
4. You can't expect someone else to change for you.
Odds are, you probably had expectations about "what will be different this time" but it's not right to expect them to change for you. You can't hold them to standards they can't reach, expectations of the past, or expectations in your head. You have to either take them as they are, or accept the fact that you two might not fit perfectly together.
5. If your mom and your best friend give you the same advice, take it.
Your mom and best friend are the two people in the world that truly want the best for you. They're not going to care about anyone else's side to the story but yours. So if they both agree on relationship advice (or any advice, to be honest), you should take it. They're not wrong.
6. There's no wrong way to be happy.
There had to be a reason you kept going back. Maybe it was chemistry or attachment or maybe you were just happy. Until the happiness runs out and the bad outweighs the good, let your happiness be a good enough reason to make life choices. If you're happier alone, be alone. If you're happier with them, be with them. Just do whatever makes you the happiest, because that will always be worth it.
7. No one will ever completely understand why you did it.
People have opinions on your life. Lots of them. Especially when it comes to your relationships. So they give you cliche advice such as, "If it didn't work the first three times, it won't work the fourth," or, "What's meant to be will always find a way," and for some reason they think it's important to give you this advice every single time they see you, no matter what your relationship status is. Unless their opinion is a deal-breaker, it won't matter.
8. The ending doesn't matter.
I know it sounds crazy. Of course the ending matters. It's the part we look forward to the most. The season finale, the movie ending, the CD full of songs. Does the couple make it or do they find out they're better on their own? An on-again-off-again relationship teaches you that how it ends truly doesn't matter. The relationship itself, the insane ups and downs, the amazing times, the hardships, the love you had, that's what really matters. Even if it seemed crazy at times, you did everything you could to make it work. And if you two do make it work, you could probably make it through anything. But, if you don't end up together, you know for a fact that you tried everything in your power to stay together.
