Turning 20 to some may not be a big deal. It may seem like a drag to turning the anticipated 21. It may seem like just another birthday, or perhaps, just another day. But turning 20 is a milestone. Your teenage years come to an end and your life is just beginning to take off. Before I jump into the years to come, I've got to reflect on the lessons I have learned in the previous 7 years I spent as a teenager.
To Care Less and Live More
I started my teenage years like most people do—the awkward middle schooler eager to be promoted from ‘tween’ to ‘teen’. At this time, I was so caught up with being part of the “in crowd” and making sure I was liked by everyone. I had this mentality through sophomore year of high school. It’s hard to shake off. It’s in our nature to want to be accepted and there is nothing wrong with that. I reached a point starting my Junior year of high school where I decided it didn’t matter if I wore the same clothes as the cool girls or went to the same parties as the popular crowd. I surrounded myself with people who made me laugh, smile and genuinely happy. It was when we were laughing and having a good time that I completely forgot about what everyone else thought of what I was doing and just enjoyed the company and memories that I was surrounded by. It’s a cliché but it took me a while to adapt. A few good friend is better than a crowd of acquaintances.
Social Media Isn’t So Important
Our generation grew up like no other—right on the cusp of technological breakthroughs and most relevant, social media. It began as everyone posting pictures of their food on Instagram to snapchatting 40 people a day to maintain a streak. Teenagers have become obsessed with documenting their lives and posting for everyone to see what they are doing every minute of the day. I am guilty of this too, how could I not be given the times. As I went through high school I subconsciously felt like I had to post a ‘story’ each time I did something so everyone knew I was having a good time. It wasn’t until I graduated, and entered my later teens, that I realized how wrong I was. Social media dictates our lives a little too much. I began to distance myself from my phone and social media when I would go out with friends and ended up having just as much fun, if not—I had more fun. I wasn’t worried about getting the perfect picture or video to share with my 300 friends on snapchat. By doing this I learned to live in and enjoy the moment. It also led to better storytelling because my friends didn't watch my life happen over my snapchat story.
Your Attitude Matters
Your attitude in the moment. Your attitude about the past. Your attitude about the future. It all matters and affects everyone around you. Teenagers are inevitably moody and again, it’s okay to have a day where you don’t feel like talking to anyone, but pessimism isn’t a good look on anyone. Fights with friends will happen. Fights with your family will happen. Failing grades will happen. Bad days will happen. It is hard to look into the future but we haven’t even been alive for twenty years yet. For most of us we have barely experienced 25% of our lives. What happens in our teenage years are typically miniscule and will not matter in a year. When something would happen and I would get upset I would think to myself, “Will this matter tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year?” and more than nine out of ten times, the answer to these questions were “no.” So take your time. Lock yourself in your room, take a drive, go for a run—find your outlet to dealing with the bad days but don’t let them take over your life. It makes for a happier life to smile more and focus on the good days rather than mull over the bad.
So as I turn 20, I am excited to see what this part of my life holds for me. There is so much to look forward to in your 20’s. I will be finishing college, hopefully attending law school, falling in love my career and maybe starting a family of my own. But as my teenage years close out I look back and can say I am proud of the lessons I learned along the way. They will not stay in my past but help me to continue to grow and learn about who I am as a person as I take on the next chapter of my life.
We all come a long way from that awkward 13- year old version of ourselves. We experience, we fail but most importantly we learn from it all.
