Those last couple of weeks, that eventually dwindled into days of my senior year of high school, were not only bittersweet, but they ended up being some of the best times of my life looking back on them now that I’m finally in college. The moments that led up to me finally becoming a MCA alumnus consisted of various class nights, rehearsals, a prom day and finally, graduation came at last.

It was a highly anticipated day for my fellow classmates and me, something we’d worked so hard for, that consumed a significant portion of our lives. Mostly everyone I talked to said they were sad and they were going to miss high school a lot, but I found myself not being one of those people. Nothing can last forever and at that point in my life, I was so excited for what the future held that not one ounce of me was disheartened that I would never have to be a student at Mt. Carmel Area ever again. It’s not that I completely wanted to leave my past behind forever, I’ll always remember the fun I had in high school with the people I will love forever. It’s just that I felt that I used up all of the time I possibly could at MCA and I’d finally done it all. There was nothing more left for me there.

My hometown had left so many marks on me, good and bad, that it was finally time for me to leave a mark of my own.

Two other classmates and I had the honor of making speeches at graduation. I had gotten up to speak in front of classes and different groups of people, but I had never made a speech to an audience this large. It scared the hell out of me, but I wanted so badly to do this. As always, I feared that my anxiety would get the best of me, and I would most likely start to shake uncontrollably if I couldn’t get a grip on what I had to do. If I was going to execute a successful speech in front of hundreds of people, it would have to be about things that I was comfortable saying in a way that I actually conveyed what I felt about what had gone on around me. So, that’s exactly what I did. I made a list of valuable lessons I learned throughout my time in high school, and I narrowed it down to three key ideas that would get my point across to all of the people I was speaking to.

Looking back, it stills blows my mind that I actually got up in front of all of my classmates and their families to elaborate on my three points. The craziest part though is that throughout the duration of the speech, I was so caught up in being myself and telling everyone how I honestly felt, that my brain forgot to tell the rest of my body to start shaking and be nervous. It was one of the very few moments in my life that I truly felt proud of myself. The real point I’m trying to make here though is that I hope the people who were listening to my speech, especially my fellow classmates, understood what I was trying to say and maybe carried some of my words with them all the way to college or just in their practical everyday lives.

When I first started at West Chester University I was really having trouble transitioning to the college life while still keeping my personality intact. I started to get very sad because every day I felt more and more of my old self slipping away and I so desperately just wanted to be the happy person I was in those last couple of days of my high school career. I finally asked myself what the heck I was doing trying to pretend to be someone I’m not. I knew that the girl who had written that speech to her classmates a couple of months prior would be disappointed in this sad shell of a person who was now forming at college. So finally I snapped out of it and this is how I used the lessons that I learned in high school to make a better experience for myself in college.

1. Popularity is just a social construct. It’s what you make it.

Popularity is feeling good in your own skin and being aware that you're special and that something sets you apart from the rest of the 7 billion other people In the world. WHY try to fit in when you were born to stand out?” I told myself time and time again in high school that I should always be myself and if people didn’t like that, then that’s their problem. College life is a lot less intimate than the atmosphere of high school, so it’s a lot easier to not give a damn about what people think or say about you because no one really knows you. I used to be so insecure about the way I looked with my hair up and no makeup on and the certain clothes I wore, but now that I’m in college I feel like I can finally breathe. Most of us are in the same boat so no one will take the time out of their day to point out a questionable choice that you’ve made, considering they probably have made a lot of questionable choices them self.

2. The best of friends can be found in the most unexpected places.

I've always found that when you're doing what you love the most and being 100% yourself it's contagious. And the people that recognize this radiance and happy for you are the ones you want to hold on to.” Some of the people that I met at first were nice but I felt that they didn’t really understand me or my sense of humor and it was a very lonely first few couple of weeks for me. Just when I started giving up hope on ever finding friends that would make me happy again, a weird circumstance led me to the group of people that I now consider some of my best friends. Sometimes this group of people makes me laugh so hard, that it’s able to surpass and cancel out all of the sadness I felt previously. They’ve not only distracted me from some of the bad thoughts that like to creep in but most importantly they genuinely make me feel wanted and important. It means the world to me to have such great people and a great support system in my life again.

3. Love your problems.

Too often we avoid what's getting us down because of the negativity it brings in our lives. But as soon as we realize we have to love our problems as much as we love the good things in our lives, that's when we're powerful enough to overcome anything in our way.” This is the hardest thing for me to write about because it’s a personal subject, but it needs to be because it’s a very important part of who I am. Almost my whole young adult life I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and self-image problems. The world can be a really cruel place and sometimes I can’t exactly control the way I feel even if others think I should be able to. I deny the things I feel because I know I could have it a lot worse, but whenever I deny the problems I have, they always find a way to catch up with me in the end. This self-awareness of my problems is something I worked towards in high school and something that I will continue to work through during my time in college. Some days are better than others, and every new day presents its own challenges. Now that things are finally starting to fall into place for this new chapter of my life, I think I finally have the chance to love, rather than hate, the things that get in my way; for hate only creates more cracks, while love has the overwhelming power to mend all.

Your past life can be a hard and painful one to revisit, but sometimes you end up being able to use what you’ve learned about yourself in the good or even difficult times to pick up some of the pieces when you feel the most lost.

We are only the sum of our experiences so once in awhile it’s okay to look back at where we laid all of those old pieces of ourselves. This way we can always reflect on and retrace the steps of who we are when finding who we are is what we need the most.