God made the little children.. he crafted each one by hand. Therefore God created us because at one point we were little children. Small, innocent, and very impressionable. The reason I say this is because I really do believe we all begin our lives as small, inocent, impressionable humans.. in fewer words, we are all waiting to be taught something. Our minds get filled, formed, and fashioned by the ones who surround us. What you put in, you get out.
Working with children every day, I am well aware of this "what you put in, you get out" theory as I hear kids repeat what I say or mimic the things I do. We stress to children muscle memorization by making them write letters and numbers over and over again, we practice good behavior by rewarding it, and we punish bad decisions... some might call this "practicing healthy habits".
This week as the tiny humans swarmed around me, it just so happened that all of them wanted my attention at the same time. As I explained that only one child could sit in my lap at a time I noticed a little girl start to cry. After telling her to "shake it off" and that everything would "be ok" I realized she began to cry harder. The cause of her distress wasn't just the she didn't get my attention.. it was that she didn't get exactly what she wanted.
Apon a moment of reflection I realized, she wasn't the only little girl crying over things not going her way. This familiar situation was playing out in my own life. I quickly realized that I too was in a situation with a child crying over something that didn't go her way. Sure, I might be a few years older and at a very different place in my life, but even though the situations were not exactly the same, in some odd way..they were very similar.
The child continued to cry and I replied "thats it, now nobody can sit in my lap". As the little girl cried harder I saw that she recognized she had ruined the situation for her friends by crying over things not going her way. She could see that as a result of her actions, her friends were left to suffer the consequences with her.. even though they weren't the ones who had made the mistake.
This is when I began to draw similarities between a five year old little girls and eighteen year old young women. When one of our friends "acts up" or "cries" over things not going exactly how they want, we are all left to suffer. I know this because recently I've been the one to suffer.
Girls are selfish, all humans are. So its up to the people we look up to to teach us whats right from whats wrong. But the most important realization I came to was that the child didn't know any better because she hadn't been taught. And what I had failed to realize thus far was that I had been taught. I knew she was wrong because my mother had showed me what was right.
That day I finally heard the words my mother had been speaking to me for years an years: some girls just don't know any better. And some little girls grow up not knowing any better. Im lucky to have healthy influences in my life, but I know that not all girls are. My mother always told me that the times I was treated poorly, left out, or targeted by a girl with a "mean heart" would make me stronger and even thought at times it is hard to admit, she was right. I had been dealing with some girls in my own life that just didn't know any better. I had to deal with the consequences of a mistake that was not mine.
Once the little girl had stoped crying I sat her down to talk. I can't remember exactly what I said because I had a crazy experience in which the words just came right out of my mouth... I didn't have to search for what to say at all. I only remember telling her that continuing to act the way she did would cause her friendships to suffer. "If you are the little girl that causes trouble for everybody else, people will find a new friend who doesn't cause them to get in trouble" I said. I didn't say any of it to be mean, I said it because it was true. It really happens. It really happened ini my own life..If you're the one to bring negative energy, peple will simply move away from your negative energy.
Realizing that girls can be mean, won't stop girls from being mean. But realizing why people treat you poorly, might make you sympathetic to other situations.
Sometimes all it takes is a small situation to help you realize that you're blessed. I had no intentions of teaching anybody anything that day.. but I don't think that five year old little girl had any intention of teaching me a lesson either.
So this one is for the mothers, the grandmothers, the honorary aunts, and the role models... keep pouring into us. Keep encouraging us, nurturing us, and teaching us. Even when you feel like we aren't listening, we hear you. And even when we fail to realize it, we are learning from you.
To the girls young and old, stop and realize you're blessed. Take time to thank your mother figure today because without the love and care of those around us, we might be the one to mistreat other people.
And to my mother, thank you for eighteen wonderful years. Thank you for your patience and guidance.. and thank you for for teaching me right from wrong.
Im not done learning or growing but the things I know for sure are the lessons my mother has taught me.
