Everything has an inevitable end. College, vacations, the milk in the back of the fridge – at one time or another, we all experience the heart-wrenching feeling of saying goodbye (except for the spoiled milk. That was easy to let go). Returning from study abroad, regardless of your program location, is no different, except with the sadness of leaving your new home away from home, there’s also the overwhelming sea of emotions attached to returning to your hometown, your family, your college, and your friends. It’s a rollercoaster of epic proportions; I’d be lying if I told you any differently. It’s how you handle that return transition, however, that helps you grow and appreciate your experiences abroad even more than you already do.
I’m a pusher – not quite like Ms. Norbury (“Mean Girls,” anyone?) but I push away pain if I don’t want to deal with it; I put up a wall in order to avoid coping with loss. Healthy? Absolutely not, and it’s not how I would encourage transitioning home. Certainly, you are going to want to celebrate being with your family again, you will be ecstatic to hug your dog after months apart, and your reunions with friends will bring the happiest tears to your eyes. Your house at home will look different; you will see your campus in a new light; there will be new faces to meet and smile at on that same, but now different, campus. Enjoy every moment of that, as it is very exciting, but at the end of the day, don’t forget to take some time for you to reflect.
What they say is true – you return a completely different person from when you left. You may not know it now, you may not even know until months later, but you’ve seen things and done things that sometimes even those on your semester trip won’t understand. And that’s okay. Write down your thoughts. Put together an actual, hold-in-your-hands scrapbook (yes, those still exist!) to bring back to your new dorm room. Drink coffee out of the mug you bought while abroad. Put happy reminders in places where you know you’ll need a pick-me-up on the hard days, because it will be hard. I won’t sugarcoat that.
Talking about abroad is great – I mention Galway, Ireland in conversation probably about once a day, and I think about Ireland multiple times a day. Sometimes, though, it will feel like talking isn’t enough. Abroad is certainly a feeling, not just a word, and articulating that (or not being able to do so) can be frustrating. Again, it’s okay. Use your words when you can. Take care of your heart when words aren’t enough. Keep tissues handy for the moments when a song plays and you’re transported right back to your favorite pub and you can’t help the tears; wear a favorite piece of jewelry acquired in your destination that reminds you of the amazing memories you’ve accumulated there.
If I learned anything about making the transition home, it was to prioritize “me.” Your feelings are valid, and you don’t need to explain how or why or what you’re feeling about your term abroad. You’re entitled to miss the best Guinness cake in the world, and the smell of the salty air, and the warmth of your flatmates’ hugs. You’re allowed to be different than you were before you left. Smile. You have a whole new world open to you now. Take empowerment from that.
And if all else fails, remember that you can always go back.
