​Learning To Love The Tummy Pooch

Dear Tummy Pooch,

I can honestly say you have been my enemy for as long as I can remember.

Remember that pool party I attended in 5th grade? I was rocking that purple one piece and felt like the shit walking back and forth between the pool and the diving board. Until Mom showed me the pictures and there you were tummy pooch, making your presence known, your little pooch making a scene in my purple one piece.

Then there was Middle School. Someone dared me that I couldn't eat healthy for a week. Challenge accepted, I won that bet easily. You became a little less prominent and I took notice. Then a week turned to a month and months to three years where you were no longer present but you were caved in. Pulled taught over my ribs. You just wanted a little room to breathe but I wouldn't let you have it.

Then High School came and I forced weight gaining shakes that old ladies have to drink down my throat and you eventually started to make your way back into my life. You were trying so hard to if not become the pooch you were before to at least help fill in the space in my jeans that hung off of me and it worked.

I remember the first bite of chocolate I took at home on my couch for the first time in three years. I had tears in my eyes as I bit down and tasted the smooth bitter taste of dark chocolate (I chose this because it was the healthiest kind).

I hated to admit it to myself, but I enjoyed it. Even with the tears rolling down my cheeks. Something in you awoke at that bitter sweet taste, tummy pooch.

Months passed and I allowed flavor back into my life and with it curves that I had never had before and an upgraded version of you appeared tummy pooch: abs!

But here I am now, in college where every meal is practically a buffet and I feel myself shifting from having the self control of a monk not to swat mosquitoes away while he meditates to telling myself to have whatever I want without moderation because I went so long without it for those three years and I deserve it now, dammit and this is where it gets tricky.

You are back in my life, tummy pooch and I feel like I'm looking back at those pool party pictures everyday when I look in the mirror. You like to take up space and that's apparent by the waist of my jeans or when I bend down to tie my shoes I feel a little cushion there that has never been before.

Here's the difference between then and now: I'm going to choose to love you, tummy pooch.

Am I a huge fan of seeing you everyday? No. Do I wish you would go away? Hell yes. But do I choose to love you everyday despite these things? Yes.

You are apart of me at the moment tummy pooch and while I take the steps of moderation and exercise to lesson your presence, in the meanwhile I will love you.