When you are little, the threat of a timeout is terrifying. The idea of being alone, even more so. It separates you from your friends and your toys. Could there be anything worse? As we grow up, this fear of a timeout changes, and in some way intensifies. We grow up and refuse to take time outs even when necessary for our mental health because we are too afraid of missing out. Missing out on great memories, creation of inside jokes, and the best party of the year. No one wants to take a time out because, what if everyone gets closer without me? What could I possibly get from being alone without my friends and toys that would be better?

This past year at college, I have learned to love timeouts. I have learned to force myself into the same corner of reality that use to cause tantrums. I have learned to find peace and comfort in taking a break from the amazing but utterly exhausting joy that is the freshman year of college. In college, there are no parents telling that you can’t go out or see your friends. There are way less obstacles to seeing your friends, to having adventures, and making memories which is awesome. The freedom and free time help create amazing friendships that, as the cliché goes, will last a lifetime. But we become so fixated on finding, creating, and nurturing these relationships that we forget to focus on our most important one, our relationship with ourselves.

Who has gone to a party with their friends when you’d rather have stayed in and watched Netflix or even possibly sleep? Who has not done something they wanted to do because they have no one to go with? Why are we so afraid of our friends hanging out without us? Why are we so afraid of doing things on our own? We talk about how college is this time of extreme independence, but most people spend less time alone than ever before. I’m guilty of this. Of passing up on opportunities because I prioritized being with people. This final quarter I forced myself into taking timeouts and it was the smartest and healthiest thing I’ve done since being at college. Not just because I wasn’t drinking three to four times a week, avoiding homework, and staying inside, but because it helped get me outside of the bubble that the present can become.

I started going on solo adventures around Seattle. Just getting on a bus and exploring this amazing city that I’m new to. I’d listen to whatever Spotify playlist I was jamming with and just walk. It gave me time to think and it also gave me time to not think. It helped me reach this sense of calmness that I haven’t felt before and maybe it’s the first taste of adult hood, of maturity. Doing this helped me in other ways. I started meeting new people because I was switching up my routine. I would see more of the amazing places off campus and the amazing opportunities and I would always return to campus a little more inspired and invigorated. The time apart from my friends made me feel much more appreciative of where I am and who I’m with, a great mindset to be in for the last few weeks of the year.

So here’s the part of the reflection for you. I challenge and encourage you to get out of whatever bubble you are in. If you are spending all your time in the library, go find something in your city like a cool bookstore, record store, or event like a city-wide pillow fight. If you feel like you are going out to much, find new fun places to study or chill out. Do what you want, what you need. Your friends aren’t going to bond in the few hours you take for your timeout. They aren’t going to love you any less. Your homework will still be there after a quick bus ride to and from downtown. Take some time to just be with yourself and just be you. Learning to love timeouts will help you love the things you are taking a break from.