Judgement is a hard thing as a Christian to figure out. Sometimes it feels like whatever we do we are being judgmental, when our heart is to love. We take on this burden of trying to watch what we say, and always have a smile on our face so no one could ever accuse you of judgement, but they still do. This whole conundrum has puzzled me for a while. How are we supposed to love people without them feeling judged? I think the answer is understanding.

Through some seeking, it seemed to me that the judgement was not necessarily coming from me, it was coming from how others choose to see it. I’m sure just about everyone has come into contact with someone who made them feel judged, but what it seems is often times we take this judgment because we know the choices we are making are sinful. Sin is an ugly thing and when we sin and continue to sin we are not typically happy with ourselves. It is hard to see ourselves in any healthy way so we live to get by, and when the people around you continue to remind you that the choices you are making are sinful it reminds you of the unhappiness you feel and no one wants to live in that. We begin to live life on the defense, taking everything everyone says as a possible judgment to the way we live because we are ashamed of the way we live.

So, if the probably seems to be more on the person who is feeling judged side, how do we go about loving them well and not coming across as judgmental? That is a hard one but I truly think a lot of it comes from understanding -- understanding that you cannot control the way people receive things, and encouraging the others to understand where you are coming from. That your heart is to love and not to judge, but you care about them and want them to not have to live in the unhappy place they are. And then you have to let it go, if they continue to feel judged by you then you have to let them live their life. You can’t control their thoughts; you can’t control how they act towards you.

The important thing to look at is your heart. Where is your motivation coming from? Is your motivation coming to make this person feel less than, or is your intention to love them and help them possibly begin to live life differently? The Lord sees your heart. In 1 Samuel 16:7 it says: “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” And if our hearts are to glorify the Lord then the Lord sees that. And at this point, we are able to let go, and as cliché as it sounds, let God. Let God work in their lives and let God work in our lives. We can’t control anything but we can trust that God is in control and has purpose in everything he does.