Recently I went on one of the quickest trips I’ve ever been on. The destination? Colorado. The purpose? A sweet memorial service for my grandma and a chance to reconnect with family I hadn’t seen in a few years.
We were effectively only there for a day, but quite a bit happened in those 24 hours. Dressed in semi-fancy clothes, we resolutely made our way to the familiar assisted living facility where we settled in for a few hours of loving remembrance and shared emotional support. As I sat and listened to my family members speak about the earlier accomplishments of the resilient and stubborn woman I had only known in her later years as my grandmother, I began to seriously contemplate the idea of leaving a legacy. Here was a room full of people sharing in the joys and sorrows of a life well lived, a person so full of accomplishment, passion and love that the entire event lasted about an hour longer than expected just because so many people were around to share memories and reminisce.
My grandma’s legacy lies in the ways we celebrated her life. First, a refreshment table adorned with See’s candies and speculoos cookies for her never-ending love of all things sweet. Eating the candy caused us to laugh as we all remembered different instances of her devouring a baseball sized amount of ice cream after a meal, after only claiming to want “a little”. Next, a corkboard stuffed with pictures of her surrounded by loving family members in favorite restaurants and the beautiful Colorado mountains. She loved living in such close proximity to a snowy, magical place and enjoyed sharing that experience with her family whenever she could.
Sure, her cool job and volunteer work was mentioned, but the overall feeling I got from the event was much more memorable than any accomplishment that was listed. Legacy, it seemed, was more of a general impression. People remember others by adjectives: strong, smart, brave, funny. In 80+ years of life, humans acquire a lot of adjectives from a lot of different people.
It doesn’t even have to be as monumental event as death. You leave legacies each time you move on to a different stage of life. A new school, a new job, a new location. Each new opportunity presents challenges and excitements for you, but it’s easy to forget the impact your leaving might have had on the people you used to be surrounded by.
We’re often so concerned about the list of accomplishments we’ve accumulated, but in reality, is that really what people are going to remember? In five or ten years, will old friends look back and say wow, they were really good at chemistry! Or will they fondly remember quirks and the overall feelings of support and happiness they felt around you? Keep this in mind as you navigate all the opportunities and choices thrown your way. To leave a good legacy, it seems the safest bet is to be as warm and caring as possible around everyone, with a little dash of sarcasm and stubbornness to let people know you’re stronger than you seem and not to be messed with under any circumstance.
