When my 9-year-old niece was younger, getting her to read was like trying to get a picky eater to try a new food.
“You haven’t found something you like yet,” I insisted at one point. She shook her head, brown curls bouncing around her head as she refused to take in my wisdom. She hated it. You couldn’t get her to read a book.
It wasn’t that she hated the books themselves. She was learning to read, and it was agonizing. Her vocabulary was growing, and her reading comprehension skills were still coming along. Eventually, with adult guidance, reading became easier and more enjoyable. Everything she learned over time suddenly clicked, and after that, she always had a book in hand. Now she won’t stop talking about her latest read.
One student I tutor told me that he hated writing. For him, especially since English is his second language, the constant mistakes were frustrating and a confidence killer.
I’m positive that as he gets the hang of grammar and finds his own writing voice, he won’t hate it. He may never love it like I do, but it won’t be nearly as painful for him. With everything, sometimes it takes extra help to keep you motivated — whether it’s with a teacher or a tutor, a friend, or a parent.
The lessons I learned from listening to my niece and this student, as while watching them on their learning journey, are tenfold. In fact, I’m in their shoes. Learning a second language is a daunting task, and my goal is fluency in Japanese and Korean. Both languages require stepping outside of what I know about English grammar to grasp the fundamentals of those languages. It requires silencing my inner voice about what I think I know and what I think I should know.
Recently, I’d forgotten this principle when I mixed up two fundamental, yet basic, Japanese grammatical concepts while speaking with someone. It hurt my ego, but through that experience, I turned hurt feelings into a learning opportunity.
On its heels, I made another error. I confused the word entrance (pronounced genkan) for the word anti-Korean (pronounced kenkan). That’s something I do not want to mix up while in polite conversation, and since then I committed both words to memory.
Instead of striving for perfection, use mistakes as way to learn. Use your struggles as obstacles to overcome. Seek help. Get a second opinion. Other people can help you get unstuck and can make sure you are learning material correctly.
Seeing my niece overcome her own fears and struggles with reading is inspiring. Helping someone else gain more confidence in themselves keeps me grounded.
I’m sure once you commit to something and keep your attitude in check, you’ll have that insatiable appetite to continue. If you struggle to stay motivated to learn something new, just think back to your childhood when you were first learning the alphabet, then learning words, then learning sentences, then learning to read books. Eventually, if you keep this up and look back at life, you’ll remember that although learning something new is hard, it will, with practice, get easier.
