The day I was born was the day the world had gained a fighter. As a child, I had to learn how to acknowledge my shame and vulnerability in order to gain strength. This was a hard thing to do. By starting to find myself at such a young age, I was able to gain the confidence that not many teenagers had which lured me to become the person I am today.
Growing up, the status I was given was a rebel. I was constantly being called “fearless,” “bold,” and “defiant” through the way I dressed to the way I presented myself emotionally. I was often judged because being confident within my generation was looked down upon as if you were self-centered. I was considered “weird” because of my bold outfit choices and my will to not care what people thought of me.
My mother was one of my greatest inspirations growing up because she always told me that “the only person that can make you happy is yourself.” This quote has stuck with me because if are not happy with yourself, it makes it hard to find happiness through anything you partake in life. Starting to be myself at such a young age taught me how to be fearless and have confidence in everything I do.
In 1st grade, my father had gotten called in for a parent-teacher conference. At the conference, my teacher proceeded to tell my dad that I would often choose who I did and did not want to be friends with and acted like the queen bee. She saw these as bad traits to have as an adolescent but my dad was proud that he had raised a daughter that knew what she wanted in life and went for it.
Around this same time, I was diagnosed with Supraventricular Tachycardia which is a heart disease that definitely made me differ from the rest. Kids would often look at me as if I had a disability because of it and made me feel like I was weaker than everyone else which I know now that it was the complete opposite. At such a young age I had to learn how to adapt to being the “odd one out.” I had to learn that being different is a good thing because after all, we are born to stand out. I am now a healthy young woman who attacks every challenge handed to me.
Throughout middle school and high school, many challenges that I faced had developed through my anxiety. Junior and senior year were the hardest years for me because I was under loads of stress having to deal with new friend groups, the lead in the musical, varsity dance team, and trying to figure out what I wanted to do in the future. I remember one night, I had a mental breakdown and couldn’t focus on anything but the negatives.
After a while, I looked at myself in the mirror and said “You are Pascale Bushaw, so why are you letting anything bring you down?” and at that moment I was brought back to reality and realized that I indeed deserved nothing but happiness. Although I hit many low points while being a teenager, I have only come out stronger due to my motivation and always trying to be better than who I once was.
One day when I look back and I am a successful, strong, independent woman, I am going to smile at all of the challenges life has decided to throw at me because they have only pushed me to be a better person. Being the one to rebel or the one who is independent is the way to live life because it allows you to better yourself in every way possible because after all, you are the one controlling your life so why not make it amazing.
