Seated around my kitchen table at a women’s Bible study I was generously 10 years too young to attend, I soaked it all in. Not so much the lessons, as the actions, words exchanged, and attention given to me by those ladies. Being the pastor’s (only) kid put me in a unique position. I was one of the few children in my church, and I felt much more comfortable with the adults than the children. They were the people I spent time with. My mom happened to lead that Bible study, so I was almost always a tag-along (the only tag-along). This is what that special group of ladies taught me.
1. Hospitality
Opening up your home for a Bible study is one thing, but when you go above and beyond and serve tea and snacks after, that is beautiful. Even though the Bible study was at my home, they would take turns bringing snacks for after so it didn't always fall on my mom. They also showed hospitality individually by always opening up their own homes for me to visit them. Many of these ladies watched me from time to time. They took turns being my babysitter.
2. Generosity
Where I am from, not many people have money. When that collection envelope came around every week, though, I watched them dig through their seemingly bottomless purses and dig out every spare dollar or coin they could afford. They knew that money would be used for something to further the Kingdom of God, whether it was by helping out those who needed it, or by going back to them for material or a women's retreat.
3. Love for the Bible
Showing up for a Bible study week after week takes commitment. I saw these ladies doing it, and enjoying every moment. Sure, they relished the community and friendships, but even more so, they looked forward to the moment they would crack open their Bibles and devotional books and start reading. They cherished the moments when they would ask deep questions, ones that sometimes were too difficult for some of them to find an answer to. They let me read out of the Bible for them sometimes. Sometimes, they even let me "lead" and ask them the questions.
4. Crocheting and Other Assorted Crafts
Every year at Christmas, our group would create a little craft for the local nursing homes and deliver them while caroling. These crafts are things that I would now call useless knickknacks, but when I was that age, oh, were they so cool! The wooden churches we painted, the bird feeders we made with needlepoint, the angel ornaments made from pasta; the list goes on.
5. How to (Not) Drink Tea
These ladies introduced my five-year-old self to tea. They all thought coffee was bad for me for some reason. Instead, they just told me to pour a bucket load of sugar and milk into my green tea. To this day, I am still trying to figure out why.
6. My Baking Game
They instilled in me the love of baking, especially when it came to cookies. This went beyond the snacks after Bible study. At Christmas, they always had a cookie swap. Gingersnaps, chocolate chip cookies, sugar cookies, buckeyes, peppermint bark, and an assortment of their original creations covered the table. I always had to step up my game for the next year.
7. Patience
Sitting through those Bible studies was almost the death of me. Waiting for my lukewarm "tea" and stunted conversations was oh, so hard especially when I had to do math homework at another table while they were all talking about God. Or when they were praying, and just when I thought they were about to say "Amen," they took another breath and continued on for what seemed like hours.
8. The Art of Gossiping (or to Despise it)
These ladies were not perfect by any means. Most of these ladies were pretty talented at talking about other people's problems. Usually, they did this when they were about to pray for someone, so I guess it really wasn't gossiping, as much as them trying to help. I didn't tell them to mind their own business, or remind them that they couldn't fix someone by talking about them behind their backs. Hopefully, they all were talking about people in the right spirit, but as for me, I learned to shy away from this.
9. Social Grace or Social Ineptitude
Basically, I was the star. At least, this was the case in my book. They all asked me questions about my life. "How was school today?" "Did you win your soccer game?" "How did your school play go?" They never really gave me a chance to enter into deep conversations, but I did learn how to talk to adults better than to people my own age.
10. Acceptance
These ladies accepted me into their midst, even though I was at least 40 years younger than most of them. They loved on me, and some of them even became like aunts to me. Beyond me, though, they accepted others. New people that came to learn more about God with them were welcomed unconditionally. Some of these new people were visibly struggling, whether it was obvious from how they dressed, how they talked, or how they appeared. Regardless of who this new person was, though, she was always loved and accepted.
