I tend to get really hung up on what mistakes I have made in the past or the things that I have done that I deeply regret. It's hard for me to admit to my wrong doings or bring up regrettable events in my life, but I've done a lot of soul-searching the past few months and have learned that there is nothing wrong with learning and growing from your past mistakes.
We all make mistakes; it's just an inevitability of life. There are so many things that I've done and so many words that I have left unsaid that I wish I could repent; however, there is no way I will be able to take back what I have done. It would be nice to be able to travel back in time and undo events in our lives, but time is irreversible and the stamp that you leave on the world is unchangeable. We may not be able to go back and change what we regret, but you can always shift the way that you view your past experiences. Taking a look back at experiences that fill you up with anger or sorrow doesn't have to be a bad thing - it's important to notate these unpleasant experiences so that we are able to learn from them.
I no longer want to be tied down by my past negative experiences. I want to take these experiences with me and use them to grow as a human being. I don't want fear to hold me captive any longer and I won't let my own inner demons win. I want to face the world head-on and become the best me that I can be. I struggle a lot every day to accept inevitability in my life and just allowing the universe to take control of my situation. I've learned a lot in the past few months that you won't always be, nor do you have to be in control of everything that happens to you in your life; you just have to let go and realize that not everything is going to be set in stone.
I would love to be able to tell myself that everything is going to be okay and that I will always make it out in the end unscathed, but the truth is, this isn't always the case. Life is full of mysteries, and that's completely okay. You don't always have to be okay all of the time. In other words, it's okay not to be okay.
I definitely don't have all of the answers, nor do I claim to. But for me, it's helped a lot to take a look at my past experiences as just what they are — in the past. They won't necessarily happen again and I don't need to make them a worry in the present day. Because after all, what is the point in living a life that is consumed by the fear and apprehension of negative experiences that you have had in the past?
