1. How to literally "sleep it off." All parents know that teenagers tend to sleep late. So, one weekend, when I was at my second-favorite parents' house, I slept until 2:00 p.m. on accident. When I walked downstairs to make lunch, that parent looked up at me and said, "oh, I forgot you were at my house this weekend." From then on, I learned that I could nearly avoid that parent by literally sleeping off the weekend until I got to switch houses a few days later. Brings a whole new meaning to "hibernation," right?
2. How to live out of a rolling backpack. Normal girls have a hard time zipping 2 binders, a pencil case, and a pair of sneakers into their backpacks. Thanks to my parents, I could zip a four-day supply of clothing and multiple textbooks and binders into mine without even breaking a sweat. Life skills!
3. ...and how to take that backpack to middle school dances, but still "be cool." Okay this is a lie, I never looked cool at middle school dances. The dances were on Fridays, which was when I switched houses, so I was always forced to bring my backpack. Unfortunately, that scared off every boy at every dance for years to come, and I didn't even have my first kiss until second semester of senior year. Oh well.
4. How to manage a very strange schedule. Unlike most kids who live at one house, or most divorced kids who spend a week with each parent, I spent Monday and Tuesday with mom, Wednesday and Thursday with dad, and I alternated weekends. Welcome to my world, where sometimes I literally woke up and couldn't remember where I was.
5. How to relate to adults better than peers my own age. There were many times in middle school when I would call the parent that I disliked, trying to be nice, and wind up in tears by the time I hung up. The phone, of course, was in the middle of the school hallway, so teachers would always give me worried looks and try to console me. I had to explain my situation at home numerous times, which allowed me to become quite skilled at articulating myself to adults, and to this day I still think I relate better to grownups than people my own age. It also helped that I was the only eighth grader who knew who the Rolling Stones were.
6. How to navigate religious dilemmas. My Dad is Catholic and my mother was Jewish, so I was raised going to Church AND Temple. Instead of choosing one religion, I learned to be like Hannah Montana and take the "best of both worlds." I had a First Communion and a Bat Mitzvah, so maybe now I have all my bases covered?
7. How to have patience. In sixth grade, I realized I liked one parent better and wanted nothing more that to live at that house most of the time like other divorced kids did. However, that parent knew that I still needed to have a relationship with both Mom AND Dad, and encouraged me to be patient through the bad times. After six YEARS of waiting, the opportunity arose on its own, and I finally got to move in with that parent, who is also my best friend.
8. How to be happy without being normal. I come from a blended family, with a Dad, a "bonus" mom, and a (step)sister. My stepmom is the polar opposite of those in fairy tales - in fact, I would argue that she is truly a princess, spreading laughter and love wherever she goes. My stepsister and I really are sisters - not biologically, but emotionally. The four of us can discuss literally anything at the dinner table - we are basically a friend group. Just like "normal" families, we have inside jokes and fights and holiday traditions. We may not be "normal," but we certainly are happy and full of love.
