A majority of my writing is inspired by my experiences and the lessons I've learned in my life. However, I've never had a chance to talk about how I learned to forgive.

I grew up in a home where both my mother and stepfather worked. I was left with babysitters a lot of times and usually got to see my mother at night or during the weekend.

As I got older, I tried to become more independent, wanting to hang out with friends outside of school, not wanting to help with my younger sisters. My mother wanted me to stay home, to help with my siblings and not hang out with my friends often. I guess she was afraid I'd wind up having the same life that she did or that I'd get hurt or something. But, it made me want to detach myself even more.

I guess that's where my anger started. Having a bunch of responsibilities at the age of 12 when all of my friends never even held a baby kind of made me jealous of them. Then, to top it off, I went through life getting my heart played with by people that I shouldn't have tried to be in a relationship with, especially in middle and high school. Friends not being true friends, family being less than what I'd like to consider family - it was just a mixture of life.

As a result, I got angry with the world. I went through high school, angry as all hell. Trying to argue with everyone and anyone. But, the older I got the more I learned.

I've met people who had the capabilities to love more than anyone else. Their constant smiling and bubbly personalities seemed impossible to me. But they were consistent. They never left my side and tried their hardest to make sure I was in a better mood. They allowed me to stay at their houses when things were too rough at home, they made me do something silly just to change my mood around and I slowly learned how to smile.

Their persistence in trying to make me feel better helped me learn to forgive. They would listen to me vent all of the time and rather than telling me "it's not worth it" or "things happen," they were supportive and said things like "I know where you're coming from" and "you have the right to be upset."

Their support in my life helped me learn that not everything deserved a really bad reaction. I picked up on some of their habits. I began to be happier throughout the days and to not take everything as offensive.

So, by the time I got to college, I learned to be happier, but I hadn't quite learned how to forgive until my sophomore year. I got busier with my life, and more distant with my family and friends. I didn't notice it, but I was not forgiving people. I just wasn't acknowledging them.

Then one day, while talking with my boyfriend about a fight I had with my sister, I learned something. I wasn't angry at her. I understood her point in her argument and I just calmed down. Venting out my frustrations and talking to my boyfriend made me realize that being angry was only hurting me. I was crying with a huge headache and she was probably sitting at home, watching television.

So, I put my big girl pants on, stiffened my lip and forgave her. Then, I thought long and hard about everyone who I was still angry at. And oh boy, was that a long list.

Still, I made it a point to forgive everyone. Not for them -- but for myself. I thought about all the times I was relied on to take care of my siblings, having really strict rules against me going out, the typical nonsense that I've dealt with from relationships and "friend"ships, along with more stressful events.

It took recognizing who I was, who I wanted to be and surrounding myself with positive people to change myself. I've learned to forgive by recognizing that I had no control over what others think, how they act or why they act the way they do. All I can do is not allow it to affect me to the point where tears are streaming down my face or where I'm damaging relationships with others.

I still work on myself every day and I still have a lot to learn, but I am a much happier person now than I was three years ago.